Escape from Collinwood

EPISODES 692-700

The terror of the previous night is over, and breaking down of the social hierarchy fueled by Liz and Mrs Johnson's holding hands in their darkest hour seems to be forgotten. As if my recent desire to see more of Liz and Julia together is heard by Powers That Be in a bizarre, time-crossing Game of Thronesesque fashion ("Hold the door!"), the episode starts with the two of them discussing the previous night's aforementioned terror inducing events, oh such as children's frantic behavior, the ominous music and bicurious tendencies of women over 50. Liz has no doubt that there is a ghost that goes around possessing the children, but Julia corrects her by explaining there are actually two ghosts. Liz wonders why she hasn't been informed about this before and Julia, clearly amused, asks whether she would have believed them if they've told her. The woman died and came back to life dammit; her threshold of belief-in-supernatural must be quite flexible by now! Cue Professor Stokes, complaining about the burdens of being a scholar in a subtle (albeit a bit irrelevant) attempt at building an off screen backstory. Being a weather forecaster for the undead, he pics up the change in the atmosphere of the house and claims the evil presence is all around them. He kinda wanders on the grey area when he suggests to keep the children in the house for now so the rest of them can know when/if the ghosts decide to leave, like some sort of a voltage tester.

The Attack of The Floaty Hand

They are unaware of Quentin's invisible presence lurking around and listening in, and when Liz is left alone in the drawing room going about the business (as a head of family does regardless of the situation) she is almost attacked by the letter opener held by Quentin's floaty disembodied hand, if it weren't for Professor Stokes yelling "Watch out!" that makes him disappear and drop the thing. They find the secret panel that leads to the west wing open, and Professor Stokes masterfully connects the dots that this must be where the children disappear into. He claims that they are all in grave danger, yet instead of running away without looking behind they keep hanging around. For now that is.

Before there was Angel the brooding vampire, there was Chris the brooding werewolf; brooding in the cottage to live up to his broody reputation. When Ned calls and urges/threatens him to see his sister Sabrina, Chris asks Julia for help. We are shown a huge picture of Sabrina a couple of times as if to prepare us for the shock to come; she seems cute. Understandably dreading to meet her two years after changing into a werewolf in front of her, Chris is encouraged by Julia to go down to the town and be done with it. To Ned's surprise, and ours too, Julia accompanies Chris to Ned's room in the Collinsport Inn; maybe she's just curious to learn what the heck the big deal is with that Sabrina woman. Ned isn't happy with her presence there but goes into the other room to bring Sabrina anyway. And by bring I do mean bring, totally, on a wheelchair and everything, as if you're bringing your 90 year old doddered grandma, whom Sabrina actually looks like. Yes, the build up is fruitful: Sabrina looks pale as marble, white haired, weird, almost a lifeless corpse. A right-minded person would be polite enough to greet her like they would any regular individual, and this is exactly what Chris and Julia do NOT!

Sabrina faking catatonia to evade
her yacking brother

They don't hide their shock and go full-blown gasp to Sabrina's face. She's been in a state of shock for the last two years and lucky for Chris hasn't said a word, but Ned is certain that seeing Chris would snap her out of it. And it does. She points her hand to her ex fiancee, slowly gets out of the wheelchairs and starts walking towards him... Then collapses to the floor! Are we expected be sad as if for an elderly person, or relieved that Chris' off the hook for now, I don't know.

Later, Julia and Chris arrive at Collinwood. The latter is clearly shaken with guilt, and when Julia tries to calm him down by explaining that Sabrina's situation hasn't changed and she's still a catatonic mummy (okay, maybe not in so many words), Chris states that he doesn't care about being exposed and only feels sorry for Sabrina's wasted youth, once again winning over our delicate hearts with his honorable personality and athletic arms. When he storms out like a 13 year old adolescent (nobody's perfect), Julia runs into Professor Stokes and this amazing exchange occurs:

Stokes: What's wrong with Jennings?
Julia: Oh, he's... having problems.
Professor Stokes: That tells me precisely nothing, (smiling) which I'm sure is what you intended.

I haven't thought about it til now but Stokes and Julia would make an excellent couple. Let's admit it, Barnabas likes their women perky and slightly less hysteric. He will never look at Julia that way, so she might as well jump on the Stokes wagon and get some while she can. As if to add fuel to the fire, Stokes goes:

Stokes: I'm going to exorcise the ghosts from this house tonight. And you are going to help me.

So direct, so dominant. You can cut the sexual tension with a letter opener. While discussing how scientific methods can no longer help them, Stokes catches David red handed eavesdropping behind the secret panel. Assuming he is possessed, Stokes draws some on-point analogies between spirit possessions and pen-ownership that ends with pen getting snapped in half by him (Julia is hyperventilating in the background). David tries too hard to lie he eventually gives himself away when Stokes fools him with the old school "Look! The ghost's behind you" trick. David breaks and begins to cry (another great performance by David Henesy), Tough-Love-Stokes gives him the truth straight: If David keeps allowing the ghost to possess him, soon there will be nothing left of him.

Meanwhile outside on the terrace where the silver light of the moon licks the leaves and the soothing sound of water fountain caresses ones' soul/bladder, Chris breaks up with Carolyn on the basis of he's a coward leaving town, and Carolyn clearly gets sad but tries not to show it. What a waste of a beautiful set decoration, really. After Carolyn leaves, Julia tries to stop Chris from leaving by finally telling him about his sister's situation with the ghosts, and succeeds.

Collinwood is a kink positive space

Inside the house, Stokes approaches a crying Carolyn with the tenderness of a Neanderthal (he might as well have poked her with a stick) and asks her to assist him and Julia with the exorcism. When they get David in the drawing room, Quentin's theme starts to play signalling the ghost is fully aware of what is going on and wants to provide background score. Lights go out, thunder and lightning follow each other; Julia, Carolyn and David are understandably terrified as Stokes goes outside and begins the exorcism by holding up a Y shaped tree branch towards the house and shouting out some incantations that aren't even in Latin. As the music, Stokes' words, forces of nature and the tension in drawing room intensifies, David passes out. When you are in company of scientific people and Carolyn is the one to point to the fact that David could be in danger, you gotta believe there is something wrong with the world. Luckily, the lights come back on and David eventually wakes up BUT before that something really curious happens. Inside, Julia gives out the most realistic post-orgasm sigh of relief I've ever seen, meanwhile outside Stokes brings down his staff looking sullen. This exorcism is and has always been a cover for sex! Followed by both of the parties coming together in the foyer, asking each other how it went while panting. Not so subtle! I can see the appeal of the series among the housewives now.

Once he awakens, David seems to be okay and therefore everybody thinks the house is free of ghosts. Since the exorcism drained all his energy (cough),  Stokes is given a room to stay overnight. In his room, Stokes paces up and down deep in thought; he feels weak, his head hurts, he isn't what he used to be anymore. But the real downer hits him when he looks up in the mirror and sees Quentin laughing at him. Then out of nowhere, the curtains spontaneously combust.

Not the fairest of them all

The exorcism was clearly a fiasco, among other things. Stokes runs to the door but it is locked. Being a man of rationale, he keeps his calm and breaks the mirror with a candlestick (Ezra Braithwaite turns over in his grave), which sends Quentin away and stops the fire. The drapes appear to be unburnt but the huge crack on the mirror can be a little hard to explain next morning. As if on cue, Roger appears at the door and starts barking about the "laughing" "the crash" "the mirror" and when Professor Stokes starts to explain how the exorcism was a failure, he cuts him off and tells him he isn't allowed to leave the room if he is to keep talking about supernatural mambo jambo. What the actual f*#k? Has Roger just grounded Professor Stokes?

Downstairs, Liz and David are bonding and opening up to each other now that they think they are free of the ghosts. It doesn't last long, and Quentin's music once again echoes all over the house. Liz rushes out of the room telling David to follow him but before he can, the doors of the drawing room close, trapping the poor boy inside (Liz would die before she'd admit she got so scared that she left David behind). Quentin appears to David looking pissed off as ever and steals his voice, rendering him unable to call for help. In Stokes' room, Liz joins the two men who are still bickering about the existence of the supernatural. Even the music playing on full volume isn't enough convince Roger, he dismisses it as some sort of a trick by the kids. It is only then that Liz notices David's absence, and they run back downstairs calling out his name. Quentin hears them too and panics (he actually panics), and David uses this opportunity as a window to escape from the house.

My Two Dads

Running after his son, Roger finds him at the Old House in Barnabas' company. Roger, skeptic and worthy of worms crawling up his sinuses as always, insists that the boy come back to Collinwood with him, blaming Barnabas and Stokes for David's erratic behavior (Surely years of neglect by his father has nothing to do with it). Barnabas somehow convinces Roger to let David stay over for the night. At this point in the show, those two actually look like a married couple arguing over how to raise a child. When Daddy #1 leaves (although Roger is more like a #2 in every sense of the word), David begins to tell Barnabas about how everything started but is interrupted by Quentin devilishly appearing outside the house. Panicking, David changes his story and runs upstairs before Barnabas can learn more.

Oh, the drama

Back in Collinwood, siblings Liz and Roger plus Professor Stokes are arguing about what to do. Stokes tells them to abandon the house (fi-nal-ly) and Liz agrees. Roger of course, being the mega queen, has to object, and calls them melodramatic. Refusing to see the actual horror show happening right in front of him, he decides to stay behind. I mean even if there weren't any paranormal activity going on, it would be stupid to stay in this giant castle of a house all alone. When Liz doesn't insist and leaves him alone to gather the more important residents of the house, Roger has an instant sensation that someone is watching him. He walks around the drawing room like a scared cat, trying to find the source of the sensation but the sensation finds him. The doors close shut and Quentin is standing there right behind him. Roger lets out a very audible gasp and bites his fist rather melodramatically. All packed and ready to go, Liz and Stokes find Roger in a state of shock (but not in a Sabrina-level shock, his hair is still the same color as his dye job). He apologizes to them and follows them out of the house head down, tail between legs, pride already non-existent. Before they go, Liz stops to turn out the lights and we can't blame her; do you have any idea how much it costs to light up a mansion that big? When they are gone, Quentin's music fills up the house again and we see each room now empty, abandoned and tastelessly decorated. Standing on top of the stairs, Quentin laughs and laughs for Collinwood belongs to him now. It is creepy and I love it.
(I hope they remembered to tell Mrs Johnson that they're leaving, although it would be hilarious to see Mrs Johnson sleeping in her bed without a care in the world during the montage of empty rooms. And a bit awkward to explain later)

I'd watch a private eye spin-off
with these three

The next morning as Collinwood stands there haunted and deserted, it's a completely different story in the The Old House. The whole family apparently have moved in there and Barnabas doesn't seem to be annoyed by it. Yet. But since they haven't put much effort into running away, Quentin finds them rather quickly. Arriving at the door, Chris tells Barnabas that he's seen a weird looking man weirdly looking at the Old House. Hearing this, Maggie finally comes forth with the information that she actually knows the name of their ghost (from David's unconscious mumblings), conveniently after letting Barnabas and Julia spend days and days going through the family records to find a clue. Maybe she is unconsciously making the duo pay for all they've done to her during Barnabas' one-of-the-living-dead days. Barnabas recognizes the name from his vast and obsessive knowledge of the family, and then and there, three of them find his photograph in the family album. We find out that Quentin was born in 1870 and the last that's known of him is that he went to Europe and never came back. That sounds suspiciously familiar, doesn't it?

The pre-iPhone, iPhone generation

Meanwhile, apparently addicted to the rush of danger David and Amy do the stupidest thing ever and decide to go back to Collinwood to retrieve the old telephone that they first used to talk to Quentin, so that they can say their final goodbyes or something equally dumb. Amy volunteers to go up and get it from Maggie's room, believing Beth would protect her. As if! But whether it's Beth's bodyguarding or Quentin taking a nap, Amy comes back unpossessed but without the phone. Quentin tries to lock the kids in by banging the front doors shut rather dramatically (or maybe it's just the wind?) but Maggie the super governess comes right on time and saves the kids. From the draught, probably. That night the infamous telephone appears in David's room at the Old House, along with Quentin's accompanying theme song. Kids once again fall under the sinister ghost's spell *sigh* and when Maggie comes to check on them, she finds the kids gone but dun dun duuun... the phone is there! Here, the show does not miss out the opportunity to use the horror trope where the adults always, always leave the kids alone in their rooms at night and close the door on them while, oh let's just say, an evil being wants to eat them!!! Ah heck, maybe the show created the trope in the first place!

Barnabas takes Willie to Collinwood to search for the brats where they get real close to discover Quentin's secret room but as it is with soap operas where a full handshake takes 3 episodes from inception to completion, they fail to do so. Meanwhile we find out the kids have not disappeared together: Amy is also looking for David in the mansion where she runs into Quentin (or runs through? since he's a ghost and all) who tells her in his non verbal telepathic possession ways to go fetch Maggie. Why do they always go after the governess? Let's hope both Vicki and Maggie have been paid enough to afford therapy post Collinsport. Maggie is indeed lured into the mansion where she is attacked by Quentin.

Maggie's loss of identity is
a recurring theme

When Barnabas later finds her, she is dressed in 19th century clothes (complete with a period hairdo) and does not recognize him (or herself for that matter) and does what a stereotypical 19th century woman does when in distress: She passes out. When she comes to, she's our sweet and savory Maggie again, completely shocked by the questionable fashion choices that's been forced onto her yet not remembering a single thing (just like me on an ordinary Saturday morning). On a serious note, isn't it rather disturbing that Quentin went ahead, undressed and redressed her? Ever since he's showed up, he's done nothing but violate the characters that are innocent and unsuspecting (plus he picked that hairdo). As Barnabas escorts Maggie out of the house, Roger arrives in search of his son, only to be mocked by Quentin's theme song and a darkly predatory note that says "David is mine". I can see how the children who'd watched the show during it's first broadcast had nightmares. Instead of searching the mansion inch by inch to find his son, Roger's reaction to this is to sip a comforting cup of tea back at the Old House (on his defense, he's never been the father of the year, really). I might be exaggerating a bit, he does pay Professor Stokes an off-screen and fruitless visit to discuss the children's behavior in relation to the full moon (too bad Susan Miller wasn't a thing back then). Upon his return to the Old House, he runs into Maggie who calls Roger "Edward" to our and his astonishment; honestly I thought it was a real flub and was happy to find out it wasn't. Turns out, Edward Collins is Roger's grandfather and Quentin was his brother. The Collins family does know how to raise 'em sociopaths!

Sabrina - two years apart

Back at the soapy plot of Chris-Sabrina-Ned, while Chris is full moon bound in the secret room of the mausoleum, Barnabas pays the intrusive Ned Stuart a visit at his hotel room and meets the white haired and blue eye-shadowed Sabrina who gets disturbed by the sight of his wolf headed cane. Being obnoxious, Ned nearly shoves it down the poor woman's throat as to get a reaction but all she can do it moan and moan, probably for being unable to stand up and give her brother a good smacking. Cut to a flashback, where we see the origin of Sabrina's shock as she witnesses Chris turn into a werewolf despite the latter's warnings. She seems nice enough, though comes off as needy and a little passive aggressive. The recollection of her life's trauma sends her into... well, another trauma. Julia the resident M.D. arrives (hilariously) to check her pulse and blood pressure all the while throwing all sorts of shade at Ned. We are reminded that Julia does own a hospital and is a serious doctor, though how she finds time to manage it while Scooby Dooing in Collinsport beats me. Following Julia and Barnabas' departure, Sabrina sees herself in the mirror for the first time and throws another fit. And we can't blame her, that blue eye shadow is just wrong for her complexion. At dawn, Barnabas and Julia check on Chris at the mausoleum but what it that? Chris is still a werewolf? During the day? Oh my... The duo quickly lock him back in the secret room and Julia doesn't waste anytime to throw suggestions that they should kill him so she won't be blamed for harboring a werewolf. Jeez Julia, take a chill pill. Barnabas notices this and points out she wasn't this impatient when it was his turn to be the monster of the week, practically teasing her for being in lurve with him. Since Barnabas knows what it is like to be on the creature feature side, he defends Chris and does not let Julia put him down like a dog then and there. They leave Chris in the secret room while they think of what to do next, hopefully not forgetting to put a bowl of water for the guy.

Just a case of a demonic possession

Back at the Collins' estate, where drama (supernatural or otherwise) never takes a break, Maggie has a dream where she shares smooches with Quentin and wakes up remembering where she's been taken by Quentin for her recent make-over: The secret room in the West Wing! She takes Barnabas there, he finally breaks the panels and the two enter Quentin's room, all that is to search for the still missing David. They are not the only ones there though, for Professor Stokes too joins the party to inform them that Quentin Collins had died in that room. How does he know it? He is a professor of the supernatural, that is how of course (he actually uses his logic that the room had been sealed, with Quentin's spirit in it). He also claims it may be too late to save David (wait... so he's dead?) which doesn't evoke an emotional response from neither party. However, he does find the other rascal, Amy, hiding behind the curtain and once again under Quentin's possession, which has become such a mundane thing by now that none of them really give a flying phoenix: They just take Amy back to the Old House as if she's merely caught a cold. In one of the drawers, Professor Stokes discovers a plot device in the shape of some I Ching wands and a journal on how to use them. They deduce the key to put an end to Quentin's terror lies in them.

Barnabas can't escape his fate
even on the astral plane

Later, Maggie is led by a sinister looking Amy back to Collinwood and just as promised, she finds David on top of the stairs. She urges the boy to be brave and come to her, which he does. They hug it out and not run out of the house like there's no tomorrow??? Maggie urges David to face Quentin's influence and expel him to prevent future possessions, which I must agree is a very mature and rather mythical thing to do, along with stupid, and just as David does that and seemingly succeeds, he falls into a coma. Well done, Mags! Back at the Old House, Julia dramatically informs them that David may die (of mystical possession?) unless something is done soon. How she comes to that scientific conclusion, I don't know. Instead of taking David to the aforementioned Windcliff hospital, they resort to the ancient Chinese practice of I Ching (as one does). Barnabas tosses the wands into the 49th formation, which Stokes announces as the The Hexagram of Change, which sends Julia ringing the bells of danger, which Barnabas ignores as usual. I don't really understand the plan here (maybe to talk to Quentin's ghost on an astral plane?) but Barnabas' visualization of a door with the I Ching wands instructed by Stokes opens into an astral room with the coffin he's been sealed in for centuries lies on the other side! Oh no.

All that talk of change and references to his vampirism was bound to be fruitful at one point. What can I say, vampire Barnabas is the best Barnabas!

*

This entry was started in 2016 and finished in 2019, for the sake of completion.

Honey, I Possessed The Kids

EPISODES 686-691

Simon & Garfunkel
connecting the dots

Some time has passed after what went down with Quentin, Ezra Braithwaite and his two pair of glasses, and Barnabas is brooding in the drawing room as one does after they find a dead body in their house. Julia returns from the autopsy and informs Barnabas that the cause of Mr Braithwaite's death was heart failure. Apparently, Julia is the only doctor in town, which makes sense considering how the other two have been killed one after another; one of which by Barnabas himself even. Calling attention to Madame Findley's seemingly natural death not so long ago two feet away from where they are standing now (and that makes me wonder all the things Mrs Johnson must be saying when she is asked to mop the floor afterwards of yet another death in the house), Barnabas points "Curious so many hearts should stop in this house". Not to mention how my hearts should break. But I digress. Going over the list of suspects, they rule out Beth because she has proven herself to be a friendly ghost. Then, Barnabas mentions "the man Mrs Johnson claimed she saw", to which Julia simply replies "Mrs Johnson's a repressed hysteric", trying to make it sound like a professional diagnosis but failing hilariously. Thankfully, they know Maggie too has seen the mystery man so they are not retiring Mrs J and placing her in a nursing home yet.

While the two elder residents of Collinwood are pondering on who killed the old silver-maker, David, youngest of the Collins', conducts his own investigation to find out why. Sneaking the ledger out of the west wing, he brings it to his room and starts going through to pages when, to his luck, Beth appears and points, as she always does, to the relevant page. David reads what we already know about who ordered the pentagram et cetera, and Beth gets sadder as he goes on, probably remembering what happened in the past. There's no doubt that the child buried in the estate is hers. However, their slippery trip down memory lane is interrupted by Quentin's theme, the ominous melody that signals his arrival. Beth looks haunted -no pun intended- and disappears in a nice, creepy fashion. 

Simple life of a 12 y.o.

Once again falling under Quentin's influence, David rips the page from the ledger and hides it. On cue, Barnabas and Julia come knocking on his door and start cross-examining the boy to have him admit his involvement in the disappearance of the ledger. It is when David suddenly goes hysterical and Barnabas tries to calm him down that Roger decides to make his dramatic entrance back into David's room and into our lives, witnessing a scene that is a little too awkward to explain. Using this window, David jumps into Roger's arms to have his father defend him. Lucky for Barnabas and not so much for David and his upcoming years of therapy, Roger isn't the father of the year: All he does is mock Barnabas for his affinity for old stuff and cheap mystery novels while slightly scowling him. Then again, he is always scowling, isn't he? Well okay, even though he isn't that great at backing up his son, he isn't as bad as I've made sound either. When Barnabas and Julia leave, he promises David to be his friend and spend more quality time with him, apparently dwelling on andropause.

Who wouldn't miss such a
peaceful presence?

Speaking of diminishing functions of reproductive systems, Barnabas and Julia try to win over Liz's trust by offering her tea, so she would give them access to old family documents. When asked why, they promise to give a proper answer afterwards. Liz masterfully inserts an "I'd like to know what's happening in my own house" to remind them who the real boss is without sounding like a bitch, but she is also a peach-in-heart and says that she trust them, which is strange considering both Barnabas and Julia are practically strangers that appeared out of nowhere and moved in like it's nobody's business. Enter Roger, this time more serious and judgmental, just like we've always known and despised him for: All bark, no bite. He blames Barnabas for mucking up David's mind. Even the ledger seems to be back on the desk (offscreen courtesy of Quentin), and although Barnabas points to the apparent torn page as an evidence of foul play, Roger keeps on quacking (almost literally. "Yet?") and threatens to never let him in the house again if he doesn't apologizes to David. Barnabas gasps dramatically. You know what? I've even missed Roger. What good is a soap without a non-threateningly moody and positively annoying second man?

Meanwhile, having had enough of the men's piss contest, Liz and Julia are already in a storage room where old family crap are scattered around. Seeing them together, albeit briefly, makes me wish they have more scenes together. Liz's elegance and Julia's awkwardness mix just perfectly. But today ain't the day for MILF-bonding, so Liz leaves and Julia goes through some stuff in order to find anything related to the purchase of the pentagram. It's amazing to watch Grayson Hall do even the simplest of the tasks, such as lighting a candle or going through a book, in her own peculiar way with her slit eyes and flaring nostrils.

Past bites Julia
in the ass

 Conveniently enough, she finds something of importance in one of the first books she opens: The photograph of Beth Chavez! (looking as ghostly as she does as a ghost). Recognizing her, Julia heads to the door to call her husband wife friend Barnabas, but Quentin's invisible ghost acts first by locking her in, and tries to scare her with the usual sudden-opening-of-the-window, blowing-out-of-the-candle, rattling-of-the-chandelier... During the turmoil, Julia tries to communicate with the ghost as if talking to a person with a hearing problem or someone foreign ("Who is hereee? Answer meee!"). Barnabas arrives to save her from further embarrassment. Suddenly the door opens, lights come back on, and everything turns to normal except for the chandelier still shaking shamelessly, but they choose to ignore it and so should we. It turns out Quentin's scarefest was actually a diversion.. When they look again, Beth's photo is gone from the album. Someone is trying too hard to cover up their tracks and I'm dying to find out why. Once again: What did happen there in 1897?

3rd time's not a charm
for Roger Davis

Unaware of the horrors happening downstairs, Carolyn and Chris' flirting has blossomed into a full blown romance, and they are back from a date, enjoying some drinks and each others' lips. In a very soap-operatic turn, Carolyn wonders if Chris' secretive personality is a result of a secret marriage or something. Chris denies those claims and diverts her attention with some further make out. Once at the cottage, Chris suddenly starts to go through the transformation with the usual "I have stomach pain" movements, but wait! There is no full moon. He calls Collinwood to ask for his new pals Barnabas & Julia's help. They come running and take him to the Collins' Mausoleum. But it is only the beginning of Chris' problems. That night, a stranger from his past knocks on the majestic doors of Collinwood. But what is it? This man looks exactly like Jeff Clark (aka Vicki's time-hopping, passive aggressive bea), who Carolyn understandably mistakes him for when she answers the door. He corrects her and introduces himself as Ned Stuart, an old friend of Chris'. This Ned is nothing like Jeff; he is intrusive and sarcastic. Upon learning Chris lives in the cottage, he decides to pay him a visit there. After he leaves, Carolyn calls Chris to give him some heads-up despite Ned has asked her not to, as it is supposed to be surprise, but nobody answers the phone. It is a small but a nice touch about Carolyn's character and how much she's grown.

Ned meets Barnabas and Julia at the cottage to their initial shock (and Barnabas's annoyance). They are rather suspicious of this friend of Chris', who mysteriously shows up at this hour and acts like that one unwanted guest who just doesn't know when to leave. After some awkward chit-chatting, he finally drops the bomb: Chris used to be engaged to his sister (whaaat?), but one day he disappeared never to return. He hints that his sister was dead and insists that he stays there until Chris arrives, but Barnabas & Julia manage to get rid off him by lying about a book that they are writing. I can imagine the title: "Fantastic Beasts of Collinsport and Where to Find Them".

David's shaky start as a writer

Back at Collinwood on that never ending night, David has a monologue with Quentin in the drawing room and tells him he wants out of the "game" because of all the death it has caused. Quentin doesn't show up, but his music does, and possesses the boy although he puts up a fruitless resistance by covering his ears. Under the influence, David begins to write. Sometime later, Maggie is surprised to find David in the drawing room (Was she sneaking out of Mrs Johnson's room at 3 am? I hope so) and tries to reach out to him by being friendly. But David acts like a creep and begins to recite the story he's been writing like a maniac: There was a man cursed to change into an animal who killed people, but he found a room where he could hide and wouldn't hurt anyone else. Then one day, someone who didn't want him to suffer anymore let him out and a hunter killed him in the woods (Wait is that Chris' story or Quentin's? They both have a secret room? Is that their connection? Was Quentin a werewolf too? I'm hooked up). Once David finishes telling the story, he starts to act like a spoiled brat again and runs out into the night. You know, one of those days Maggie is bound to give him a good smacking and we won't judge her. 

Maggie's job is in peril

She goes out behind him and runs into Ned, who is so used to being mistaken for Jeff by now that he introduces himself right away (What baffles me is why Maggie was so frightened to see Jeff. I mean, of course it must be unsettling to have a time travelling person coming and going as he pleases, but she could have at least asked how Vicki was. A-ha! Maybe, that's exactly what scares her that Vicki will come back and reclaim her governessnes). Maggie has hard time warming up to Ned who offers to help her find David and the fact that he's carrying a gun doesn't help either. They decide to go back after failing to find the boy.

Barnabas and Julia arrive in Collinwood, still speculating about that Ned guy's motivations to look for Chris and they find pages of David's story lying on the floor. Shocked by the fact that he seems to know all about Chris, Barnabas does the math and claims that David may not have been himself when he's written this. Finally, someone suspects that an evil force is work here. Scared that David has gone to the Mausoleum to let Chris out of the secret room as hinted in the story, Barnabas goes to look for him donning his favorite (only) silver tipped cane. Once again, he is right. Inside the mausoleum, he manages to stop David from pulling the handle that opens the secret door at the last minute. 

Breaking of an ex vampire's heart

Barnabas gets angry with David and questions the boy, but David has proven himself to be a skilled liar then and again so it doesn't come as a shock when he manages to get out of this one too, by making up a story about hiding from Maggie to piss her off. Maggie is happy to see David back with Barnabas. After she sends the boy to his room, Maggie tells Barnabas about her worries concerning David's strange and swinging moods. Because she is an angel with a heart of gold, she opens up to Barnabas about trying to fill Vicki's shoes, but not realizing how much the man is hurt by the mention of the former governess' name. Kudos to Barnabas for heroically gulping down whatever feelings he has left for Vicki and encouraging Maggie. I want to pinch his cheeks.

Visited by Maggie in his room, David is back to his own quasi-innocent self and finally opens up to Maggie about being so scared. The governess tucks him in and tries to get the boy to trust her enough to explain what it is that scares him so much, but to no avail. Apparently David is scared that by mentioning Quentin, he will be angering the ghost and risk everyone's lives. It turns out to be true. After Maggie leaves, he appears to David looking like a the devil itself and harasses the boy when he voices his reluctance to play the game anymore. The scene cuts away, once again leaving the horrors to our imagination. 

Monsters come in
many forms

Barnabas visits Chris at the family mausoleum with the sunrise and tells him about the previous night's encounter with the annoying Ned Stuart. Chris is shaken to hear his name and tells Barnabas honestly about what happened with Ned's sister; his fiancée. Apparently, she witnessed the transformation while she was organizing a surprise party for Chris, despite his efforts to prevent that. Guess she was the one that got a surprise after all! Chris doesn't know if he killed her or not but assumes it is the case, and that's why Ned is here: To get even. Chris thinks Ned must have been the one that poisoned his drink the other day. He decides to run away, but Barnabas isn't the type to let down his friends (except when he is a vampire; then he usually decides to kill them himself) so he offers to have our werewolf's fluffy back when the time comes. 

Hurricane Quentiné

Of course since this is Collinsport, one drama starts before another ends. Barnabas returns to Collinwood to find, along with Liz and Maggie, that the drawing room has been hit by a hurricane: Tables, chairs, lambs and all the other semi-tasteful accessories are trashed and overturned, and there's no logical explanation as to who might have done this in the short period of time where the room wasn't inhabited the previous night. Seriously, how long was that night? And come to think of it, did Carolyn and Chris sucked face unaware of Mr. Braithwaite's death there only few hours prior? Does anyone even care to let the others know about what's going on in this house anymore? Anyway, name of the hurricane is Quentin and during the chaos downstairs, he is in David's room smiling grotesquely and throwing braggy looks (really Quint?) while David protests against his actions. It takes a second for Quentin to turn into a cold eyed monster again and he touches David's arm with his ghostly hands, setting it on an invisible fire. 

Abuse takes a dangerous turn

Maggie hears David's screams and Quentin's evil laughter, enters the room to find David lying unconscious on the floor with a burn mark on his arm. Maggie hears David mutter Quentin's name while coming to his self and asks him if that is the name of the man she saw in the west wing. Another gold star to Maggie! David panics and his first reaction is to deny it, but he can't resist Maggie's affection any longer and breaks out into tears in the governess' arms. Then, in a sudden but not unexpected twist, he runs out of the room and then the house. And that's him pre-puberty! Sigh! He, and later Maggie run into Ned Stuart who happens to be at the door again. Maggie doesn't have time for Ned's shit, so she goes after David while totally ignoring him.

Someone get a tape measure!

As we've already seen in the two episodes that he's appeared on the show that Ned has some serious problems differentiating public and personal space, so naturally he invites himself in. He meets Amy, of all people, in the drawing room. He is surprised and a bit delighted (in a sneaky way) to learn that she is the sister of none other than Chris; he tries to act friendly but it comes off threatening and creepy. To further confuse the poor girl, he mentions his sister and her brother almost marrying; and makes a cheap jigsaw puzzle analogy that is simply painful/delicious to watch. Amy instinctively feels repulsed by the man and thankfully Chris shows up to save her. The men stare at each other coldly while exchanging shady and not at all sincere greetings; you can cut the sexual tension with an antique one of a kind Collins family silver dagger made by Mr. Braithwaite (may he RIP). After sending Amy out to have a talk alone, Chris and Ned recite your run-of-the-mill soap opera lines. Ned denies poisoning Chris' drink but is strangely happy to learn someone is also trying to kill him. Chris, who has always assumed Ned's sister (whose name happens to be Sabrina by the way) is dead, has the shock of his life when he learns she is actually alive and, on top of that, here in town. Ned forces Chris to go see her when the latter hesitates, and I go "Yay, new character!".

House of Horrors I

David runs into Amy in the woods while hiding from Maggie and the children express how scared they are of Quentin now. David reveals Quentin's master plan is to drive everyone out of Collinwood, so him and the children can live there all alone you know what that is JUST SICK! The kids finally agree on letting Maggie in on everything that's been happening but Quentin appears right there and gives one of now infamous cold stares (supported by a low angle light, which he seems to carrying around for dramatic effect). Back at the house and once again possessed, the kids try to act normal around Maggie, well as normal as those two creepballs could ever be, and convince her to play dress-up with them. Now, I don't really understand why they are still casually hanging in the house especially when everyone else is out somewhere and there is a frigging ghost in the first place. But on top of that, Maggie agrees to PLAY GAMES? What the actual hell? Just pack your bags, ditch the kids if you must and go back to your cozy little home, girl. So we can sort of say Maggie has the events, that will befall her shortly, coming. When the kids disappear to get dressed and never come back, Maggie wanders around looking for them like a stereotypical young woman in a horror film. The storm outside rages on, doors of the house blow open by themselves, and there is definitely something evil lurking. Then, Quentin's laughter echoes in the house and Maggie follows through another horror cliche and locks herself in in what I think was Roger's study, instead of running out and maybe moving to another state. 

House of Horrors II

To double the terror, the children join in on the laughter like crazy, which I have to admit is pretty scary. Maggie is cornered against a wall with her beautiful brown eyes wide open. The door slowly opens to reveal the kids dressed in those period clothes and Maggie would almost be relieved to see it's only them, if it isn't for QUENTIN STANDING BEHIND THEM, AS DARK, EVIL AND SIDEBURNED AS EVER! And he has the scarf that he used to strangle Maggie in her nightmare! He comes closer and closer! Maggie backs away helplessly! The children snap out of the influence and plead with him to leave Maggie alone! From here on it's a total chaos: Just when Quentin is about to wrap the scarf around Maggie's throat, she faints. Mrs Johnson enters the room and screams. Liz follows her in but Quentin disappears, so she doesn't see him. Mrs Johnson panics. Liz panics too upon seeing Maggie unconscious. Mrs Johnson blames the kids. Liz tells her to take the kids upstairs. Mrs Johnson says okay but she will come back down right away. It's like a circus hit Collinwood!

A long due bulb goes on

Mrs Johnson takes the kids to David's room but she doesn't want to hang out with them, she knows better, she may be getting old but she has plans to move to Bahamas when she retires, biting the dust while trying to save two spoiled brats from a ghost isn't on the bucket list; so she sham-comforts them saying there's no one in the room, pretending to look under the bed (and the bookcase?) and busts her ass outta there, locking the younglings in. Mrs Johnson is my spirit animal. Since he is too big to fit under the bed and since he is a friggin' ghost, Quentin appears in the room as he always does and punishes the children when they rebel against him. He moves his hand in front of Amy's eyes which blinds her. Meanwhile, Maggie's gained her precious consciousness and tries to explain to Liz what has happened. Mrs Johnson comes in to back her up, and Liz runs upstairs to check on the kids and see if her employees are indeed telling the truth. Surely, they both can't be repressed hysterics, can they? Once she sees the kids running around in the room like headless chickens talking to an invissible Quentin, she stares into the camera and finally accepts the fact that they are possessed! About time Elizabeth.

Night of the
Chicken Dead

A bit later, Liz is back from looking for Julia but she is nowhere to be found (for once in her life). Liz tells Maggie to call Professor Stokes; for "He is our only hope". While trying to get him on the phone, Maggie hears the storm outside just...stop. So does Liz on her way to see the kids. Mrs Johnson comes out of David's room where she's been watching the kids (never say never) and hurriedly calls Liz in. As the sounds have abruptly silenced, the kids have collapses and fell asleep. Mrs Johnson points to the fact that the storm continues to rage outside but inside there is a deathly silence (groovy!). Out of nowhere, Quentin's music starts echoing inside the house to both Liz and Mrs Johnson's horror. The kids wake up looking very different, very mature in an uncanny way. David announces that "It's too late to be afraid" and laughs like a maniac which eventually joins with Quentin's own laughter. The women hold hands in terror. The screen fades to black. I let out a little pee.

*

Notes... Notes.. Notes..

*It is no new information that this show has great child actors but those kids were at the top of their games while playing "possessed". I watch both David Henesy and Denise Nickerson with my jaw dropped. 50-year-belated kudos!

*I'm a sucker for typical soap stories so I'm definitely digging the Chris-Ned-Sabrina side plot.

*Thanks to Dark Shadows Fans page on Facebook for featuring my blog, and also to the visitors who have been supportive. Drop by and say hey if you want.

Turn of The Screw à la Collinwood

EPISODES 678-685

Hours of liquor tasting workshops
finally come in handy

Chris is apparently dying as our reliable family physician Julia has said so, but Barnabas and her take all the time in the world to help him. Instead, they go around collecting evidence to determine what may have caused him to be... dying. Following the lead that is the glass on the floor, Julia (the alcoholic anonymous), sniffs the drink bottle twice (one for business; one for pleasure) and is able to identify strychnine right away. Assuming it was a suicide attempt, Barnabas goes full drama queen once again reflecting back to his days as a vampire and how he too used to think about killing himself, when actually he friggin' should be helping the poor man dying on the floor and wait for throwback thursdays next time he feels nostalgic. At that same moment, Amy has a nightmare where she is led to Chris' cottage by Beth (who is finally saying some words; albeit still a bit on the obscure side) and witnesses her brother getting stabbed with an expression on his face as if killed by Samara. Oh, how I've missed Don Briscoe's ridiculous face-makings in extreme situations.

Samara visits Collinwood

In the dream, David admits having trying to stop Quentin, and Beth confirms this. Amy wakes up screaming. The next morning, still at the cottage, Barnabas and Julia assume the mysterious woman that led them there and disappeared must be a ghost. When Chris wakes up supporting a sexy stubble (Julia must have pumped his stomach or something), they go all "We don't judge you for trying to kill yourself" to which he simply says he neither did nor would, as he has them for support now. Aw. Upon learning David was the only visitor he had that day, a suspecting Barnabas has a talk with the boy but he can't learn much because David is one little witball, so he leaves with implied "I'm-on-to-you"s. 

Ghost fueled girl power

However it is Amy who is really onto David and boy, hell hath no fury like a little miss muffet scorned. Making sure her brother is alive, she confronts David like a firecracker and threatens to expose him as the accessory to a crime. David is not a turkey shoot either, so he covers the girl's mouth and twists her arm around, making her cry. Luckily, Liz is there for the save right on time as she always is and separates the two; my heart really aches for Amy. When David is sent to his room, Liz has a girl-to-girl talk with Amy, where the latter excitedly begins to tell the whole story (out of order and like a crazy person to be honest) but can't finish anyway because of Quentin's sudden appearance in the drawing room. As expected, he disappears when Liz turns around to look (sigh) and Amy understands talking about Quentin would endanger herself and the others. She goes back to David, ready to make a deal with Quentin to keep playing the game as long as no harm comes to Chris. That girl is feisty and I could eat her up.

The original "Stop playing with
your phone and do your homework"

Using the new authority granted to her by Liz to discipline David any way she sees fit, Maggie the supergoverness takes the old phone that the kids originally have been using to contact Quentin away from David in order to teach him a lesson. Once again Vicki is mentioned being the superior governess but Maggie can finally stand up for herself as she has that aforementioned full damn authority alright! As much as I like Vicki, I must admit Maggie does seem to be the better governess. She has both compassion and puissance, whereas Vicki was mostly hugs and marshmallows. Okay, maybe not, but we can all agree that she was way too easy to fool. At least Maggie was once a straightforward, no bullshit waitress of the best diner in town, so ain't no little boy gonna break her (Then again those countless memory tricks by Julia may have scarred her for life, so who knows). 
With his only way of communicating with Quentin is gone, David has no choice but to visit his secret room in the west wing to deliver Amy's negotiation offer, but not before Maggie spots and tails him. Seeing David go into the storage room, Maggie follows him there, only to find it empty for David has already sneaked into Quentin's adjoining secret room through the hole in the panel. Befuddled, Maggie leaves, trying to figure out for the next couple of episodes how the hell David has evaded her. David delivers Amy's message, right before falling under the possessive influence of Quentin. Possession stories are discomforting as they are, since it is practically a form of abuse and molestation; but it is extra repulsive when we have children in the middle of all that. Connotations of child abuse are not so subtle.

Meanwhile downstairs, Mrs Johnson is kinda, sorta made fun of by Liz for being afraid of the children when she is asked to take David's food up to his room. Actually the whole conversation is so amazing that I'll just go ahead and quote it verbatim:

Mrs J has no time for your bullshit

Mrs Johnson: (dramatically) Those two children are playing some kind of monstrous game. A game that's intended to scare us all to death.
Liz: (mocking) Mrs Johnson. All children make up odd games from time to time.
Mrs Johnson: I didn't say this was odd. I said it's monstrous and that's what it is.
Liz: Mrs Johnson, you're a mature woman. David's twelve years old. You mean to tell me you're actually afraid to be with him for anytime.
Mrs Johnson: (nodding unashamedly) You can have my head examined but that's the way I feel.

This can be one of my favorite scenes so far, right up there when Julia slapped Cassandra (#535) or Naomi smacked Reverand Trask (#438). Or Liz calling off her wedding to Jason and confessing killing her husband (#270). Anything with Joan Bennett, really! But Mrs Johnson is the real star here; the subject of poor woman's age and sanity has come up three times this week and she took it like a pro and threw it back like the sassma
ster she is. However, this couldn't get her out of the task ahead and she grudgingly goes up to David's room, where she jumps up and down with joy to see Maggie, who is going through David's clothes. Overjoyed that she wouldn't be alone with David, or with David at all for he is missing, Mrs J acts like Maggie is her favorite person in the world, whereas just a couple of weeks ago she had no problem whatsoever to openly compare Maggie to Vicki. Upon seeing David's Victorian era coat, she says David was wearing it the night she caught the two brats playing dress-up and Maggie begins to connect the dots back to the man Mrs Johnson said she saw in the cottage. Maggie asks Mrs Johnson not to tell Liz about David's absence because she wants to handle it herself. Of course, Mrs Johnson will be Mrs Johnson, and she somehow manages to throw a shade here and there before leaving, once again questioning Maggie's adequacy as a governess. When questioned by Liz, Mrs Johnson lies halfheartedly and runs into the kitchen to avoid further query.

David gets even-steven

David comes back from the west wing to find Maggie in his room, soap operatically positioned in the armchair. A showdown of sorts take place as Maggie, firm and not gullible, asks how the hell David has gotten out of the storage room without her noticing. The reason why I've been beginning to like David is that he is ready-witted and quite sharp, managing to evade every question. He not only always has something to say, but also does it dipped in wit. But Maggie wasn't born yesterday either. The verbal tennis match ends with Maggie grounding David, who in turn calmly threatens to get even, sending chills down Maggie's and our spines. Welcome back David the child-sociopath of the early episodes! And even he gets! With a sequence of creepy tricks of the gothic genre (lights going off, the old telephone ringing, the window blowing open), Maggie is terrorized (seemingly by Quentin) in her room. Mrs Johnson is the one to come for Maggie's help ("Well, when I told you I saw that man down at the cottage, you looked at me as if I were crazy". With that finally out, I am hoping for Maggie and Mrs Johnson becoming besties).

Attention to the hand

Set to show David who the boss is, Maggie heads back to the west wing when she can't find David in his room. All alone she walks through the dark, scary, spider webby corridors up to the storage room. She opens the door hoping to see David but BAM!! Quentin is standing there and looking at her menacingly. Naturally, Maggie screams and runs downstairs; lucky to find not one but three familiar faces: Carolyn, Chris and Liz (It did not escape my attention that Maggie used this opportunity to grab Chris' hand when she first came down. Is she gonna snatch him right under Carolyn's nose? Wouldn't be the first time, you know!). Upon hearing there is a creepy looking man in the closed up part of the house, Chris and Carolyn volunteer to go look for him. Ah, love. Makes you do crazy things. But not surprisingly, they can't find anyone. Meanwhile, Liz offers Maggie a stiff drink to calm her down; I like it when she is generous like that.

Quentin & Mr Juggins:
7 Differences

However, she doesn't really see how that man, who she learns Mrs Johnson also recently saw, would possibly have anything to do with David. To set it straight, they go to David's room (who has been there all along but just hiding) and question him. Being a notorious liar, he manages to dodge every accusation. He even offers to take them up there and show them where he was hiding when Maggie failed to find him. Of course, he isn't doing this out of the sweetness of his heart. When the two women and the boy go up to the storage room, they run into Mr Juggins the sideburn-donning, creepy looking, easy-to-mistake-for-a-man dummy. "Could this be the man you saw?" Liz asks, rather mockingly, which must have stung like a bitch, definitely more than running into Quentin himself. There is a chill in the air, not because of the ghosts roaming the halls or the thunderstorm outside, but because Liz has an intimidating left profile. Maggie hangs her head in shame and David smiles defiantly, for he was the one who put the dummy there after Quentin told him to.

Proletarian revolution starts here

Later that night, Maggie is gloomily hanging out in the drawing room while everyone else is asleep. Everyone but Mrs Johnson. When Maggie tells her about the man she saw, Mrs Johnson feels a) happy because this proves she isn't crazy; b) scared because he is in the house now; c) lesbian because Maggie looks seductive in that blue, fluffy nightgown helpless because they are only ones who know what is going on and can't convince Liz otherwise. I am really, REALLY loving their scenes, bonding and comforting each other. I knew some bff action was coming their way. Mrs Johnson believes the children are wicked but Maggie thinks they are innocent and need their help. They exchange goodnights and head to bed (unfortunately, not together), but not before Maggie gives one final "And Mrs Johnson. Lock your door" for the sake of it. Geez, girl. You'll give the woman a stroke. That night, Maggie has a nightmare à la Elm Street where she goes to the storage room to confront Quentin, but gets strangled with a red shawl instead.

Mrs Johnson climaxes

Next morning, Maggie fills Barnabas in on everything that went down and he believes her right away on the first try. It's a big relief for Maggie and also us; finally there is someone in the house who doesn't try to rationalize it when a strange thing happens, especially after all the scary shit that went down (curses, witches, spirits, fuckin' time travel, Buzz). Barnabas doesn't keep this info to himself and does the most logical thing to do: Bring Professor Stokes in. Suddenly, some people started to get smarter in this house. Stokes believes Janet Findley, the medium he sent here couple of weeks earlier and ended up dead (well, shit happens), didn't die a natural death even though it looked like a heart attack. So, as it the Collins tradition in every 100 episode or so, it is SEANCE TIME AGAIN! This time participants are Stokes, Barnabas, Maggie and despite practically begging not to be involved, Mrs Johnson (they were ones who got close and personal with Quentin afterall). It was about time they popped Mrs J's séance cherry, and as one would expect, the whole thing was hilarious. And as if it wasn't enough, the spirit of Madame Findley picked her of all people to be her human-speaker. Mrs Johnson moans and utters some words like "Children. The Panel. The room." instead of saying "You know guys while I was looking for the malevolent spirit, the children led me to the west wing. There I discovered his secret room by going through the panel" but yeah yeah, the wi-fi connection is and has always been slow between the two worlds. Luckily, Mrs Johnson finishes the story by screaming "AND HE KILLED ME" before collapsing, at least proving there is something evil inside the house. We haven't seen Mrs J ever since, I hope she is dealing okay with the séance hangover.

Consenting adults try hypnosis

The next morning Barnabas tells Julia about previous night's hoopla and try to decipher the dead medium's message: He believes children are either in some kind of danger or they know who the murderer is. Or worse yet, they are the murderers. They hope it's either number one or two. Later, they visit Chris hoping to learn more about this mysterious ghost looking out for him. He says he doesn't know, and it turns out to be true when Julia hypnotizes him (with his consent, probably the first time we see Julia using work ethics) with hopes of uncovering something buried, yet fails. Chris finds it hard to believe in ghosts. An odd statement from a man who happens to be a werewolf every now and then. Outside, Beth appears to Amy and asks her to do something (again, not speaking), and it turns out to be to get an old doll of some kind from the west wing, which Amy embraces and starts playing with. I still don't get how the kids are able to go in and out the west wing without having the bejesus scared out of them.

The estate of Collinwood
is one big graveyard

A little bit later, Beth finally appears to Chris in the woods and points him to a spot on the ground. Chris does the most sensible thing to do to a guardian angel and shouts "You are the one. You are the woman!" at her face. Naturally, she disappears and Chris goes and gets Barnabas. The two man dig the earth where she pointed and discover a child size coffin of 50-70 years (Barnabas shows off his expertise on the coffins; and he should know). It is a saddening sight. When they open it up, they find the remains of an infant and a silver pentagram necklace. Ohh, the plot thickens. They speculate that it must be a protection against a werewolf, which proves there must have been another one before Chris, which proves his condition must be connected to it. They take the necklace and bury the coffin back, not knowing Quentin is watching them. Another easy paycheck day for David Selby.

Possession stands for what exactly?

Back at the house, David grabs a book from the library (why the hell is there a book titled "Ghosts and Exorcism" in the Collins' collection I am not sure, but then again they have always been a bit morbid) and Carolyn comes in and tells him it's a weird choice for a bedtime reading. David is ready to open up about what has been scaring him, but right on cue, Quentin the ever silent, the ever present, the ever buzzkill ghost appears and David shuts up. Later when they meet in Quentin's room, David first rejects whatever it is Quentin has asked him to do this time, but the music starts playing and David falls under the man-ghost's influence once again. You know, I can't unsee the child abuse metaphor even if I want to now and it is unsettling. It is also supported by the fact that they always cut away once Quentin starts to possess them.

Sherlockin' Barnabas

Examining the pentagram in the drawing room, Barnabas notices an inscription that says "'To guard you from the wrath of Cerberus", which is amazing 'cause who doesn't like Greek mythology subtly integrated into any story? Carolyn recognizes the jeweler's mark and identifies it as belonging to Mr. Ezra Braithwaite, the third and last generation craftsman in a line of jewelers providing the Collins family their much needed silver. Barnabas calls him up while David watches and eventually filches the pentagram right under Barnabas' nose, as Quentin has ordered. On top of that, he manages to get out of this one, even though he was the only other person in the room and Barnabas even apologizes to him for assuming he stole it. Barnabas must be having one of his slow days (it was the 60's, the acid was the thing; we are not shaming him for experimenting).

Barnabas supporting local businesses

Lacking the real thing, Barnabas visits Mr. Braithwaite in his shop with a drawing of the pentagram. The man is very old and eccentric. He has two glasses: One pair to see people; the other for things (like all of us, really). He almost has a memory of making the necklace and promises to look through his books to find out. Later, he gives Collinwood a call to let them know that he has found out who it was made for, but unfortunately it is David who answers the phone and before he can summon Barnabas, Quentin intervenes and takes the phone from his hands. When David protests, Quentin chases him up the stairs looking creepy as ever. Right after the opening credits, we see them talking in the drawing room, so once again we have been denied to witness whatever it is Quentin does to those kids. Anyway, Quentin must still be resentful towards Amy because he disappears right after she joins them (what is he, 7?). Amy is the mature one here and she figures whatever it is those two are doing must be something Chris would be harmed at the end of. She warns David not to trust Quentin, and he agrees by saying he doesn't like the game anymore.

Amy must have remind Barnabas
of his own sister Sarah

Enter Liz, getting ready to go to the airport to pick up Roger who is finally coming back from Boston doing devil knows what, while his sister has been resurrected, his niece got attacked by a werewolf and his son has been possessed by ghosts galloping around the house like there is no tomorrow. Liz wants to take David with her but meets much resistance, because he wants to make sure Quentin behaves. Amy almost blurts the whole thing but the clock strikes conveniently and Liz has to go. Jeez! Then, Amy and Barnabas have a heart-warming talk about their good old (offscreen) friendship at the Windcliff Sanitarium but Amy still can't bring her tiny self to admit who she is afraid of. QUENTIN! IT'S QUENTIN!!1!

Ezra is a little too fond of silver

Meanwhile downstairs David welcomes Mr. Braithwaite in, who has come up with his ledger to tell Barnabas about his discovery. David leaves the old man admiring all the iron Collins' have alone in the drawing room, to have Quentin prey on him. And right on cue, Quentin appears behind the hidden panel (appearing out of thin air like a regular ghost must not be dramatic enough for him) and approaches the man. Poor old Braithwaite has his "things-glasses" on, so he can't make out Quentin at first and even assumes he is the friend Barnabas has mentioned.

Quentin plays with his
prey first

Noticing this, Quentin has some fun and pretends to listen with a smile on his face while Braithwaite goes on and on about how the pentagram was one of the first pieces he made, and it was ordered by Miss Beth Chaves and charged to Count Quentin Collins. After he's done reading, Mr. Braithwaite switches back to his people-glasses and casually identifies the man as Quentin Collins. After a pause that actually seems like a whole minute, he realizes that it is impossible and yells "You're dead! You're dead!" as Quentin comes closer and closer... During that, David has actually gone up to Barnabas' room to tell him about Mr. Braithwaite's arrival but got caught up in his cousin's never ending speeches. When he finally manages to interrupt him and tell the news, they run down to the drawing room to find Mr. Braithwaite sitting in a position with his head hanging down, now practically screaming I'm dead. Right on cue, he drops to the floor like a single raisin as the ex-vampire gently touches him. As Barnabas yells David to stay away and call Julia, Quentin is already in the west wing, with the ledger.

*

Notes... Notes... Notes

- Chris is one of my favorite characters now. He's nice but edgy; secretive and overall cool to watch. I really enjoy watching Don Briscoe's performance and was sad to learn he had a tough life.

-Julia has been reading about the werewolves and apparently there are two ways you can be one: By a bite or a curse. We know Chris' thing is a curse but not sure how he got it. How is he related to Quentin, Beth and the dead baby we will see, I hope. It is also a bit hypocritical of Julia to suggest they will have to expose Chris if they fail to help him, while that was never an option for Barnabas. Unrequited love has blinded her.

-While on the subject of werewolves, even though Barnabas made it sound like Cerberus was only a random guard dog at the gates of hell, it was actually a huge three-headed beast. Now that we know there was another werewolf back in the town's history, it would be cool if Chris was one of three people who are affected by a curse, forming a symbolic Cerberus through time.

-It is funny how Liz is right back at her game again, with no lasting after effects of being dead. With no mention of the whole thing, one would assume she only went to Bangor for a couple of days.

- Occasional black and white episodes give me a nice feeling of nostalgia and an opportunity to see what the show would have looked like if it never gone multicolor during less gothic and more exciting, full fledged supernatural stories.