Let's Save Vicki!!

EPISODES 657-665 

Maggie doesn't like notes

Hold your horses and vacuum cleaners, Mrs Johnson! Vicki's clothes and things may appear to be back under mystical conditions but it is actually David and Amy; the bratty members of Let's Be Possessed By Our Ancestors Club who is behind this charade, as I suspected. In order to have Barnabas change his mind about the Boston trip, they pull a similar stunt with their own clothes that they packed. While it doesn't make sense why Vicki's ghost should be moving other people's clothes around, Barnabas; Maggie and Mrs Johnson doesn't question the logic of it and are somewhat convinced there's something supernatural going on. Yay, a make believe wardrobe haunting!! However, something unexpected happens and Josette's music box in formerly Vicki's and now Maggie's room opens by itself to reveal a note saying "I am alone, help me!". Short, effective, to the point! There's now no doubt the ex governess is in need of help. Lucky for the kids, the trip is very close to cancellation but it is made clear they had nothing to do with the note.

Joe the madman

Upon hearing about Joe's recent go at kidnapping, Chris visits him at the police station under Julia and the Sheriff's supervision. Joe seems to have completely lost it, thanks to the recent revelation that his cousin is a werewolf, but is unable to report what he'd witnessed without sounding like a lunatic on crack. He freaks out even more so when he comes face to face with Chris, so Julia decides to put him down like a dog sedate him with an intravenous injection. Under the influence of the drug, Joe wonders through the sets of Dark Shadows in a dreamstate, while encountering monsters that he's faced all his life (Chris the werewolf; Tom the vampire; and Julia the needle carrying crazy bitch doctor from hell). He wakes up crazier than ever and to realize he's been put in a straightjacket, on his way to Windcliff. Chris watches on with guilt, knowing all of this is his fault, yet he doesn't say a thing. Prick! The close up of a drooling, crazy man is the last shot of Joe we have before he disappears into limbo.

Julia returns to Collinwood in the morning where she runs into Barnabas and learns about Vicki's distress signal from the past and approaches the subject rather skeptically: The handwriting isn't Vicki's; there's no signature and hello, time travelling notes from the past? Not so common. Julia calls it "flimsy evidence" and insists that Barnabas take the trip to Boston with the kids.

Vicki photobombing

Meanwhile, Carolyn is and has been by her mother's tomb all this time; looking rather haunted (not literally) and way too mature. When the concerned Barnabas visits her, she says she believes that her mother isn't really dead and will wake up just like she'd predicted before her "death". Ah, the determination of those Collins women! When Barnabas takes her back home, shenaniganous David offers to take a picture of the two so he can have something to remember Carolyn by when they're in Boston. It's very nice of Carolyn to remember to fix her hair for the camera during her time of mourning; you know what they say, "People around you may drop like flies but that's no excuse to look like a rat out of water". Later, when David hands Carolyn the developed photo (who would have guessed Collinwood has a dark room among other rooms of wonder), she and Barnabas are shocked out of their panties to see behind them standing the image of Vicki hanged at the gallows. It is official now: Vicki IS trying to contact them (I mean who else would pull something as dramatic?). The trip is totally off and the kids still don't have anything to do with the photo and neither does Quentin. It is aaall Vicki. Or is it?

No help Stokes

Barnabas shows the photo to who else but his wife lover sex kitten confidant Julia and they discuss it once again in a Mulder & Scully-esque fashion, with former believing he can travel back in time to save her and the latter dying a little inside cause the former will never love her the way he does Vicki. They take the debate up to the expert on the weird, the unexplainable, the kookoo: Prof Stokes! He is intrigued by the photo but as he himself put it so delicately, he ain't no "travel agent for time" so he can't really help Barnabas. He says the herb trick worked for Peter/Jeff because he belonged to the past; so Barnabas in return starts to "speculate" what if he too was from the past, only to be saved by Julia's timely cough attack. Barnabas is giving away too much info and Julia makes sure she is the only confidant he has (Besides, I doubt Stokes would fancy being his sex kitten). Barnabas accepts the Professor's inability to help but is determined to go on by himself. That's the spirit!! (pun intended)

Is the figure above supposed
to be Vicki the witch?

The kids are at the cemetery, playing around and celebrating their success of having the Boston trip cancelled. David notices Peter Bradford's tomb stone but can't put a finger on where he heard the name. Next to it stands a freshly dug grave without a tomb stone, which is weird cause they don't bury people here anymore (That David tries so hard to impress Amy with his knowledge of the macabre). When Barnabas learns about this new grave, he and Julia pay a visit to the Eagle Hill Cemetery that night so they can check it out and oh, call out to Vicki throughout the centuries while at it. They find the spot but there's no sign of a fresh grave. But something amazing happens and a brand new tomb stone appears next to Peter's grave when they aren't looking. And it reads: "Victoria Winters, Hanged As A Witch"! The subtlety of it all. And the plot thickens.

Then and there, Barnabas begins to recite the yawn-inducing story of his final days in 1796 before he was locked up in his coffin by his father, complete with an episode's worth of stock footage. There's heavy emphasis on events leading up to Nathan Forbes' death, so we know they'll play around it. Barnabas has an idea and says he will travel back in time to change the course of events so he can save Vickster. Julia points out the dangers of changing history like any sane person would do but Barnabas doesn't hear a word of it. He tells Julia to come back here exactly in two days, before calling out to Peter's spirit to be pulled back in time. And surprisingly, it works! The gravestones, along with Julia, disappear and Barnabas finds himself in his 18th century clothes and most importantly, fangs!!

Minutes into his arrival to this time, he runs into his loyal servant Ben Stokes in the cemetery, who doesn't suspect a thing, and learns he's arrived in time to stop Vicki's hanging. It seems Barnabas' spirit has somewhat found its way into his 18th century body, so at least we don't have to worry about Barnabas running into Barnabas; there's only one. So anyway, he goes about repeating and changing the history step by step. First, he eliminates his father from the HIStory by making him leave town in pursuit of a false lead.

Barnabas creeps up
on Vicki #3

Then, he visits Vicki at the gaol, something he couldn't do first time 'round for he was busy dealing with the new vampirism and all. Vicki is now being played by a third actress, Carolyn Groves, who seems sweet and nice and way better than Betsy Durkin. Not that there was anything particularly wrong with Durkin but this one seems better suited for the character. But let's not make a fuss, she'll be leaving in 3--2--1!
Vicki is shocked to see this century's Barnabas because she heard from Josette that he was dead. He says it was a spell that Angelique cast over him; they gossip a bit about the witch. Vicki also explains how she went back to her century but came back because of her love for Peter (HOW IS THAT LOVE WORKING OUT FOR YOU NOW IN PRISON VICKI?). Poor Barnabas; he travels to the past and is still friendzoned. And scumbag Peter; drags Vicki back in time only to put her in the same situation. What a pickle!

That wig!

Promising Vicki to make things right, Barnabas sets out to find Nathan Forbes but instead of killing him, this time he bites the man so he will be under his influence (although Barnabas doesn't forget to break the glasses on the table again for dramatic impact). That way, he is easily made to write the testimony that may free Vicki and Peter. However, it only helps Peter, and Vicki is still charged with witchcraft. Scumbag Peter, indeed! Nathan is thrown into jail for the murder of that ginger whatshisface and is visited by his poor, naive wife Millicent, who is poorer and naiver than ever. Nathan tells the already confused girl how to destroy Barnabas.

Yet another hooker down the drain

Being a vampire, after such a long hiatus, takes its toll on Barnabas. The man is hungry, so he hits the docks in order to find a hooker to eat like in the good ol' days. Afterall, these are the good ol' days. However, before he can sink his teeth into Crystal, the unfortunate streetwalker streetwalking the docks, the woman falls into the water. It's the second time that happens (anyone remember the Julia Hoffman lookalike Ruby?).  Verdict: Barnabas is a clumsy vampire!

Surprise, surprise!

But his suffering doesn't end there. Back in Collinwood; brooding, sad and hungry, he gets shocked by the out-of-nowhere appearance of the dead woman in the study (Is that one of Bill Malloy's seaweeds on the body?). But what is more shocking is that the dead body turns into Angelique once Barnabas leaves the room to get Ben, who doesn't forget to hiss at his former mistress in built-up anger. Once they are alone, Angelique explains that she was sent back to the past from the same future as a punishment but she isn't a vampire anymore; she's just a witch. She offers Barnabas a bargain: She will help him save Vicki from the death by hanging, if Barnabas agrees to stay with her in this timeline. Our gawky vampire doesn't have much choice, so he does indeed agree to do so.

History repeating itself with a different actress

Cut to the jail where Vicki and Peter are having their belated honeymoon before the hanging. The air stinks with gloom and hopelessness; poor Vicki has to go through same shit again in her short, precious, dramaful life. Luckily, Barnabas arrives and brings a tiny hope of survival. He tells her to be calm and refuse the hood that will cover her face during the execution. He doesn't mention making a deal with a witch to Vicki, who is taken to the gallows shortly after, but Peter rightfully calls it "insanity" when he learns about it. The mood is very tense as the two men watch the girl of their dreams getting prepped for her death. When Angelique is nowhere to be seen, they begin to panic and shout, which doesn't help much as Vicki is hanged right there on the spot (I used to enjoy saying Vicki is hung; it surely would be an unexpected plot twist). Peter holds the dead body of his wife in his arms, rocking back and forth, while probably wondering if the shot is flattering (Peter Davis was allegedly so obsessed with looking good on camera that he interfered with blockings).

The bystanders cheered on as the witch was scorched!

Vicki's corpse is taken to Collinwood with three men, Barnabas, Ben and Peter mourning over it. However, when they leave the room, Angelique steps out of the shadows very fashionably and laughs at the fact that Vicki isn't really dead; just appears to be so and Angelique will make sure to revive her after she's been put six feet under. Some time later, she finds Barnabas in the tower room and tries to cut a bargain again, revealing Vicki's current situation as a phase. But Barnabas has finally had enough of this crap, having seen the further terror Angelique caused in both past and the future. With his command, Ben comes running in with a torch and sets Angelique on fire. "Burn Buurn BUUUURN!" shouts Ben with joy; he seriously needs to see a therapist afterwards. The witch drowns in flames and lets out the most wicked scream that echoes in Collinwood as she perishes. About fuckin' time!

Skipping on to a new life

At that moment, Vicki wakes up from her "death slumber" into Peter's arms. Barnabas is so overjoyed by her revival that he doesn't even mind the fact Vicki is in love with another man. He even wishes them all the best when they set out to leave town, for it will be difficult to explain the woman who'd just been hanged walking around, going shopping and such. Vicki asks for a moment alone with Barnabas before leaving and acts like a subtle slut one last time when she tells the vampire he'll always be special to her or something equally cheesy. She gives him a kiss (it was on that obscure region where you don't know if it was on the lips or cheek); Barnabas in turn spins her around, holds her head down and fills her mouth with his vampalicious tongue says a solemn goodbye.

Vicki's final flirt

Then, our dear Vicki of all these years -completely unrecognizable by now- walks out the doors of Collinwood one last time, never to return. You know, I would have even shed a tear or two if the scene was played by Alexandra Moltke and in a grand closure style, but right now I was just trying hard not to fall asleep. Goodbye Vicki!

OK, from that on it is extremely dull, so dull that I've been delaying this last paragraph for almost a week, so I'm just gonna make it short: Countess Natalie du Pres, Josette's aunt who I had assumed left the continent long ago, is obviously still hanging around (Grayson Hall's characters have that tendency), and she discovers Barnabas' coffin in the tower room. Oh, she also sees Barnabas when he leaves the room after torching a witch.

Countess turned
vampire hunter

Adding to this is Millicent telling Natalie, about Nathan telling her to drive a stake through Barnabas' heart, and Natalie needs to hear no more to realize they are facing a vampire (another common thing about Mrs Hall's characters)!! She figures Josette died because of Barnabas and swears to take revenge while Millicent, in her own words, "can't comprehand". Shh pretty girl, we don't expect you to.

First, Natalie follows Ben and Barnabas to the Collins Tomb where the latter has his beauty sleep. Then, she bails Nathan out of jail and takes him there to finish Barnabas once and for all. They enter the secret chamber, open up the coffin's lid and with Natalie's bone chilling command "Destroy him!" (bone chilling because it was so-close-to-the-ear whisperlike I thought she was gonna suck on my earlobes), Nathan puts the stake on top of Barnabas' heart and raises the hammer, and then strikes down.

*

*I was wondering. What if it wasn't Vicki that has been sending messages to lure Barnabas to the past but it was Angelique instead?

*Was it just me or were they really deliberately trying to cover Vicki's face via shadows, her hair, Roger Davis' hands etc. so maybe people won't notice the actor change?

~

I did a bad bad thing and created another blog on tumblr as if I was already spending enough time on this one and since it is mostly visual, I totally neglected my poor Dark Shadows blog where writing is essential which I haven't all up to. I hope to be more present here; I always have these phases where I actively blog for a while and then stop. It didn't also help that the time travel to the 1796 was extremely boring; I dunno how the hell I'm gonna get out of the upcoming and longer time travel storyline. Then again, it's always a hoot to discover new characters and situations. Ahh, the pickleness of it.

Anyway, if you're into horror films and especially the slasher subgenre, check out my other blog Tatum Stuck In Garage Door . What, you'd think I'd talk about another blog and not shamelessly advertise it?

A Hunky Werewolf in Collinsport

EPISODES 651-656

Vicki is gone and a strange stillness has fallen over Collinwood. Liz's obsession with death is back and Barnabas tries his best to comfort her; but who will comfort Barnabas after the loss of his own obsession? Julia -who else- is there for him to explain how it was not Peter/Jeff's fault but Vicki's own choice to reunite with him. Afterall he was her husband, you know. However Barnabas acts like a (one hundred something years old) child who's just lost a game and will not see reason. Thankfully, there are more pressing matters at hand so he decides to brood some other time. He speculates that Liz's condition has something to do with Cassandra and he couldn't have been more right.

Liz being Liz

Amy and Joe come back from the movies and noticeably absent is Chris. Amy seems to be out of the ghosts' curse and acts like a normal kid again. She says the moon scares her sometimes; I wonder the nature of her connection to her brother. Joe asks if she was joking when she said she saw a star on his face earlier. The answer is no; Joe recoils. After he leaves, Amy runs into Liz coming down the stairs in a trance like state and she walks out the door without a word. Then, she takes aaall the time in the word to tell Barnabas about Liz's strange behaviour. When Barnabas goes upstairs for some reason (probably to pee) before going out to look for Liz, Amy sneaks out and goes after the woman herself. She follows her to the Collins Mausoleum where they have a morbid talk about death and rainbows & stuff that ends with Liz passing out. Luckily, Barnabas has caught up with them; he shoulders the woman, probably thinking she should cut back on pastries.

Meanwhile, Chris is immersed in his own drama and has been trying to reach Julia on the phone only to find out she is more unavailable than Curtains (1983) on DVD. So he pays Collinwood a visit himself and asks for the sleeping pills she promised to give him. After some suspicious eyebrow-raising questioning, she ends up giving him three. Finally back in his hotel, he takes all three in one big gulp but uh-oh, there's a knock on the door! Joe has come to lecture him about neglecting Amy. Chris, feeling the change is close, tells him to leave or else. Woo another penis contest! After Joe leaves bitterly, Chris passes out while turning into the werewolf.

"This house is full of freaks!"

Liz is brought back to the house and promises she won't try to escape again (You're grounded young lady!); she is more concerned about the children now. With Vicki gone and her death is impending, the kids will need a new governess.. TONIGHT! (Bitch please, the kids needed a new governess like two hundred episodes ago. Also, I can just imagine how lost Amy will be without a governess after five full days of being governed). She brainstorms with Barnabas and comes up with the town sweetpie Maggie Evans. Barnabas heads to give her a call but before that he has a heart warming interaction with Amy who cries cause she's afraid of the moon. She's cute as a button and I can just eat her up (And he would too if he were "one of the living dead" still)

Fastest job interview

Joe pays Maggie a visit to say goodbye (cause he'll be leaving Collinsport soon) and make amends with her. They both agree that friendzone is the best option for them right now. Maggie gets the call from Barnabas just when she says something about wanting to change her life completely. Joe drives her up to Collinwood where they hear the sad news about Vicki. A pale "Unbelievable!" is Maggie's response (meh, they haven't been that close recently anyway). Liz explains to her that it is imperative that she starts working tonight (what is she gonna do; teach them algebra at this hour?). Maggie accepts the offer in the end, starting to change her life and making Liz happy in the process. So happy indeed; she dies. But more on that later.

Joe learns to listen to
Amy the hard way

Maggie asks Joe to give her a ride back to her cottage so she can collect some of her stuff (that "friendship" thing is working out well) but Joe offers to bring them himself. Amy, having seen the pentagram on his face again, begs him to stay in Collinwood for the night but who will listen to a little girl, right? When Joe is at Maggie's place, he hears some strange growling noises outside and out of nowhere The Werewolf crashes through the window and attacks him, creating the best action scene of the show so far! He tries to run away but The Werewolf grabs and slashes him to the ground. Just when we think this is the curtains for Joe, he manages to stab the creature with a pair of scissors, making it leave the house with its tail between its legs -if you'll pardon the pun. When Joe fails to come back, Maggie gets worried and sends Barnabas to check on her boyfriend. Barnabas finds Joe a bloody wreck in the Evans cottage; also a wreck. He decides to bring him up to Julia's care at Collinwood whereas the regular Collinsport hospital with regular doctors is also very available, not to mention closer.

Global Warming Explained!

His arrival in Collinwood looking like a chewed up and spat out dog food cause some panic but at least Amy is not awake to witness the spectacle. In panic, he tells all about what happened but after Julia is done treating his wounds, he changes his story and tells them not to notify the Sheriff. He has his own reasons. And a torn piece of clothing that he grabbed off The Werewolf. Meanwhile, Chris wakes up in his room and notices the place looks like the aftermath of a tornado. The stab apparently didn't effect his human form as we see no mark on his gorgeous naked upper body ahem excuse me. Panicked about what he might have done to Joe, he goes around looking for him when there's no answer on the phone. It is Maggie who breaks him the news when he comes to Collinwood to ask for a stronger medicine, to which Julia says she doesn't know any. Are we surprised? 

Save your bullets, Joe!

Back in his apartment, he finds Joe waiting for him with the piece of his shirt and his shirt with the missing patch in his hands (plus the bandage on his forehead but that's irrelevant). The puzzle has been solved but Joe needs a proper explanation. Chris acts like the gorgeous naked tough hunk he is and orders him to leave. Some pushing and shoving later and when Joe still doesn't wanna leave, Chris' transformation begins. He tells Joe to take his gun from the drawer and shoot him. He also doesn't forget to throw some sarcastic comments in the sense of "See, this is why I left town" in the mix (Shut up and strip!). When the man is gone and the wolf has taken over, Joe shoots it a couple of times but no effect. He just gets up and lunges at the camera Joe.

An inappropriate kidnap attempt

Saved by the camera, Joe has managed to escape The Werewolf and made his way into Collinwood, up to Amy's room. He starts packing her stuff and she wakes up wondering what the heck is a crazy man doing in her room in the middle of the night? Joe, indeed, looks and acts like a crazy man after what he saw at Chris' (well, he was warned that he'd regret it). He is intent on saving Amy from the curse that effected both of her brothers by taking her away from this town. At first, she goes along with Joe's plan but after seeing how messed up he acts (seriously, taken out of context that scene would be a disturbing portrayal of child abuse; It made me go "What the hell?"), she starts to fight. Joe kidnaps her by force without being seen by anyone in the house.

Unaware of the situation, Carolyn -who is back from one of her famous trips to who knows where- and Julia have been discussing Vicki's disappearance and Liz's condition. Although sadder about Vicki than Maggie was, Carolyn seems more concerned for her mother.

Cassandra bullies Liz in dreamland

Unaware of any of the situations, Liz has a dream where she finds Amy singing in the woods. Then from behind a tree trunk appears a woman we haven't seen for some time: Cassandra (feat. her awful wig)!!! If it were one of her better days, Liz would have slapped the witch out of the woman but right now, she stands like a helpless kid against her taunting. Cassandra reaches out to touch her (a death touch) but Liz manages to wake up screaming before that happens. Calmed and sedated by Julia and Carolyn, she asks them to check if Amy is alright. They find Amy's room empty and her stuff out in the open, so they suspect that something has happened to her (duh!). Trying to keep it a secret from Liz, they look for the girl all around the house. Softie or not, Liz is still a hard nut to fool. Feeling something's up, she goes to Amy's room and in there she meets her angel of death: Cassandra (feat. her awful wig again)!!! She comes closer and closer..

Pretty (Dead) In Pink

Out in the woods, Amy manages to get out of Joe's inappropriate grip and run back to Collinwood. Joe follows her there but meets with Julia's flared nostrils. He seems to have lost it completely, giggling and mumbling uncontrollably, so Julia gives him a good juicy slap for all of us. The awkwaaard moment is abruptly interrupted by Carolyn's painful howling (Noo, this one ain't a werewolf like the film incarnation). Julia runs upstairs and finds Carolyn crying over her mother's dead body!!!!!!! Julia checks her pulse and confirms it. Liz is dead. But only she isn't. We hear her think "They think I'm dead but I'm not". But she can't move.. just like she said she would be!

It's the day after the big mama's "death" and the mourning David, who has lost the appetite for mischief, is unwillingly taken to Quentin's room by Amy. Once again the violin soaked music plays and once again the kids go under his influence. He has asked kids to do something for him during the opening credits. C'mon man, show your face again!

Mr B & Mrs J have a tender moment

Barnabas and Mrs Johnson are in the drawing room, mourning over Liz in their own way (the latter's preference is by gossiping about Maggie's capibility as a governess; how I've missed you Mrs Johnson, I mean it). She finds Liz's strange request for her burial odd but at least they are going through with it. I wonder if they have the coffin with a buzzer ready. Barnabas also tells her that nobody outside the family is to know about her passing and I can almost see the little spark in her eyes when she says "Oh, I won't tell anyone". At that moment, town's funeral director arrives with condolences and readiness to inhume Liz. He says someone who sounded like a man called and told him about her death. They send the man away, telling him they have their own plans for Liz and wonder who might that inside leak be?

Partners Brats in crime!

Cut to David, the almost man, and his partner in crime Amy in Quentin's room. He's angry with the kids for blowing it; since we don't see him, I can tell by the way he swings that ceiling lamb. He obviously wants to have Liz buried in a regular coffin. In other words: Bury her alive! Bastard! Later, Barnabas asks the kids if they would like a trip to Boston with Maggie to get their minds off things. They say "Woo Hoo Yeah" to his face but wonder when alone how they are gonna get out of this one cause Quentin wants them in the house all the time.

Now that Maggie is here and gonna be occupying Vicki's room, it's time for them to decide what to do with her stuff. Mrs Johnson puts her clothes in a box and Barnabas tells her to get rid off them however she wants. He even tells her to throw away Josette's music box which he gave Vicki as a gift. Wow, he loves Vicki more than Josette? Didn't see that coming! But it grabs Maggie's attention and she opens it to play the music for a while before throwing it back in the box again. Hmm, are we gonna get another Maggie-Josette thing? Especially after the recent pointless side story about her remembering all of it only to be made to forget again (Tsk tsk Julia and her hypnosis obsession).

Even fashion can be
deadly in DS

Anyways, Mrs Johnson can't bring herself to throw Vicki's stuff away just yet so she stores them in the basement along with the other family relics. Later when Maggie is in her new room getting ready to unpack, she makes a startling discovery: Vicki's clothes are back in the closet!! Barnabas and Mrs Johnson come running in and the latter prophesizes rather excitedly that "IT'S A SIGN! VICKI IS COMING BACK"

You know I was actually baffled myself but then I wrote the last two paragraphs and the mystery unfolded by itself. Meh!

*

Notes.. Notes.. Notes..

Will she survive the experience?

*It's awesome that Maggie gets to be in Collinwood all the time; at least screentime-wise, otherwise it's for certain she will be involved in major shit as if she hasn't been in enough. It won't be easy replacing Vicki obviously, as Mr Johnson has so nicely put it (At least Barnabas defended Maggie). She has her own worries as well, wondering if David will like her as much he did Vicki. Well, they seem to have a good start considering David is under a spell of somesort. Plus, Maggie used to buy him ice cream on the house back when she was a waitress (I miss the old diner set but I think they've already torn it to pieces and turned into something else. I also have a feeling that we won't be seeing much of Maggie's house anymore, now that it's been torn apart recently onscreen). The one thing I noticed about Maggie that ever since she became a governess (and it's been like a day and a half) she started to dress more refined, more elegantly. You gotta live up to the big house!

*The thing I find confusing about Vicki is, now that she's in the past it means in present time she's been dead for over a century. So, when she first came to Collinwood she was destined to be dead. Of some sorts. See, that' why they don't make time travel legal!

*Amy playing the London Bridge song on piano was a nice throwback to Sarah. However, rather than a homage it felt more like nyah nyah we're having much more fun!

*The costume department must be in love with the bright green color! Vicki's coat, Cassandra's coat, Carolyn's dress, Amy's dress. And I swear I remember Liz also having something that color. It's nice and all but the cast looks like a keylime pie after a certain time.

Ghost in the Family

EPISODES 642-650

Fashion and suicide don't mix

The last we checked, Vicki was standing on the edge of Widow's Hill, despair in her eyes and lime color coat on her back but luckily Liz and Prof. Stokes arrive just in time to stop her. It's so considerate of Liz to have made time to cover her hair with a fashionable babooshka, especially when she was racing against time to save someone on a windy cliff. Prof Stokes, who pratically told Vicki a little while ago to kill herself, is quick to change his mind and say there is another way to contact Jeff. He grabs Vicki and cautiously moves her away from the danger zone as she has another nervous breakdown.

It's séance time again!

Once back at the house, Prof Stokes apologizes for putting ideas in her head. Vicki feels Jeff's presence in her room again and notices his watch (that had stopped when he vanished) ticking again. Then to everyone's surprise, a blue ball of light appears in front of them when Vicki calls out to Jeff. However it disappears shortly after and the watch stops working, leaving Vicki crushed again. Prof Stokes identifies Jeff's blue balls as an "astral manifestation" and offers to arrange a séance. Despite Liz's protests, Vicki accepts the offer knowing pretty well she may be sucked into the past like the last time. Also joining them are Carolyn and Chris, who happens to be around discussing the murder of that Blue Whale waitress, the latter being weird about it (for good reason). Prof Stokes is glad to have Chris on board because apparently spirits usually like to possess people with their gender to speak (and they could always use extra man). However during the séance, it is Carolyn who starts to moan and gets to be the ghost-walkie talkie. A spirit of a woman named Magda takes over her body and warns them anxiously about a curse and that "They must stop them. He must stay where he is". Probably assuming his own secret may be out in the open, Chris stops Carolyn's yammering, breaking the spiritual wi-fi connection in the process. Vicki runs to her room crying and stays there for the next eight episodes. When asked, Chris can't give a solid answer as to why he stopped the séance in a haste.

While we were left wondering what the heck that spirit chick meant by what she said, the answer comes quickly when Amy wakes David up and tells him that Quentin the family ghost is angry. He speaks to Amy on the phone again and he says "she will try to stop them". It seems the séance grabbed an unwanted visitor.

When ghost aren't
clearer..

And that visitor doesn't wanna leave yet. Roger witnesses a book fall down from the piano and there is a letter in it adressed to Jamison Collins -Roger and Liz's father- by Quentin Collins asking for his help. Carolyn fills her uncle in on the séance he just missed and thinks Magda is still around. Of course, it also helps that Carolyn gets possessed by Magda occasionally to shout out warnings (but never too clear. It gets very annoying that those damn ghost can't be much more clear like "two little brats are about to unleash a ghost" and maybe then add "stop them"). Carolyn feels someone in this house is in danger. Cut to Amy and David, waiting for everyone to go to bed so they can sneak into the west wing. But the residents of the house aren't the only obstacle on their way. Magda's invisible spirit tries tricks like knocking the flashlight out of their hands or pulling them away from the door that opens to the abandoned wing. So, David and Amy use the secret panel in the drawing room that we haven't seen get used since the two digit episodes. It's good to see the writers didn't forget about that; cause I didn't either. Once they pass through, it's Quentin's turn to pull some tricks; he pushes the chair that covers the enterance back against the wall so their tracks are covered. The kids go up to the room where they first contacted Quentin on the phone but the ghost shuts the door behind them and locks them in.

Fancy a game of Wheel of Fortune?

Carolyn wakes up hysterically screaming from a dream in which she saw David and Amy dead. Roger goes to check on the children only to find empty beds. Magda gives them another obscure clue and the name Jamison appears on Carolyn's mirror. Roger guesses the word two letters before. Clever boy! Him, Liz and Carolyn go about the house looking for the missing kids but it is once again Magda that shows the way; she urges Carolyn towards the west wing. They go looking for them and even enter the room the kids are in. However, afraid of their punishment but obviously not of Quentin's wrath, the kids decide to hide and consequently they aren't found.

Is that Maggie's missing wig?

When they are alone again, the kids hear music from behind the wall. Assuming there's a secret room behind it, they break the board and voila, there it is: A door. It opens by itself while the kids discuss whether they should go through it or not, leaving them no choice but enter. And enter they do and find Quentin's remains sitting in a chair. They are sorta scared but are unable to leave for the door is locked behind them. They find a candle and light it as the gramophone in the room starts playing the same music by itself. Then, Quentin's evil man laugh echo in the room. By now we know he ain't no Casper.

The Hands That Rock The Cradle

The next day, Liz visits Barnabas at the old house to ask if he knows where the kids are; he doesn't but joins Liz on the search. Unbeknownst to them, David and Amy are hiding right outside; watching them. When the adults leave, the kids enter the house to do a job Quentin told them to do. Amy thinks David is acting weird. She is not wrong. As the search for them continues, the kids find what they came for in the attic: An old crib. Now, how they manage to sneak that huge thing into Collinwood and to the west wing without being seen by the worried adults I do not know but they do all that anyway. Then, the crib starts to rock by itself and David, acting like a creep again, pushes the scared Amy towards it, telling her "she won't hurt you". Too many unseen shes in the show. Nice!

Later, the kids come in through the front door like nothing has happened. Liz and Barnabas are surprised to see them but what is more surprising is to find out Amy and Barnabas had a friendship during their brief stays in Windcliff. There's nothing like a traumatic experience to bring an old man (who happens to be an ex vampire) and a little girl together. The kids make up one of the lamest excuses about where they were that I won't even bother to tell. Liz and Barnabas try to find a loophole in the kids' story but they can't, so they don't further dig it. Amy seems to be under the same influence as David now. Creepy kids from hell? Check!

Beth & Quentin: I'm lovin' them

The kids visit the west wing again that night and this time they come face to face with Quentin's ghost in flesh and blood. Ok, that doesn't really make sense; they see him would be more appropriate. He looks at the kids in a serious posture without saying a word. Then, the same music starts again. The air is tense. There is a lot of staring. Then out of the shadows, a woman in a white dress with a sharp chin appears and stands next to Quentin, eyeing the kids. Nobody says a thing.

Now that he has a new one,
Quentin can dispose of his old body

Sometime later, the ghosts are gone and the kids are wearing the 19th century clothes that they've found earlier. If you think that's odd, wait until you hear them call each other Quentin and Beth and talk in a kind, "why thank you sir"ish manner. A-ha! A classic case of what I like to call an "impersonation possession". David as Quentin says his family has to pay for the unhappiness they'd caused. But first, they must bury what's left of his body. 

The next morning, the kids manage to sneak it out inside a toybox, even getting Roger's help to carry it. Once the body is buried somewhere on the estate, the kids return to their hidden room in the west wing and make a plan. That night, Roger is in his bed reading a book or something (aww, the hard on the outside man unravels like a lonely flower in front of us) when Amy visits him to say she's scared of the sounds she's heard downstairs. Roger goes down to investigate, not aware of the trap his son has set for him. He trips over the wire that's been placed on the stairs and comes down tumbling.

What doesn't kill you makes you
look like a fool, A FOOL!

That's two Collins siblings down the same stairs (remember how Liz fell because of Laura the phoenix?) and it is Liz who comes to his rescue 'cause she's now an expert on the subject of staircase accidents. Roger is bruised but alive. He is also convinced there's someone in the house trying to kill him, yet he fails to find the wire. The brats must be working like ants. On a funny note, Doctor Julia Hoffman takes all the time in the world to attend to Roger and we never get to see her do it anyway. Let's just hope she didn't give a man who may have a concussion a sedative. 

Tarot cards are bad omen

Later, Liz finds a single tarot card in Roger's room and gets freaked out by it. She has a gut feeling that the spirit from the séance is trying to warn them. When Roger doesn't really believe that, she calls Prof Stokes to consult his expertise on the occult. The next day after seeing the card, Stokes acts hesitant to give the bad news but Liz tells him to cut the crap and give it to her like a shot of stiff scotch. Prof Stokes waters it down to "a sign of upcoming unhappiness".

Meanwhile, David feels guilty about what he did to his father (we're talking about a kid who once messed his father's car up in order to kill him) and begins to break the influence but when the music starts playing and the cradle rocking again, he becomes not-himself again.

Prof Stokes comes back with an eccentric medium: Madame Janet Findley. She proves she is not a sham when she guesses some of the things that happened in the house, not that anybody at this point thinks that she is. She trances herself up to contact the spirit and speaks to the "one" who is somewhere in the house. Once out of the trance, she says there's a war going on in this house and she must find out how it started. Woo hoo, Collinwood now a battleground for a psychic war!!!

Medium stuff

As the medium has an intimate "one knock is yes, two knocks is no session" with Magda's spirit, Amy gets a visit from his cousin Joe who is out of the hospital and looking rather normal; Angelique's influence had somehow disappeared. Amy acts all normal during their brief talk where she says she's happy in Collinwood (you live in a mansion girl, of course you're happy). Then suddenly, she sees an upside down pentagram on Joe's face; just like Chris did on the waitress. The star disappears when Joe walks up to the mirror but Madame Findley says she saw it too and tells him to avoid an animal that walks like a man. Joe responds with the skeptic's sarcasm but when was he a believer anyway? (Although one would expect he opened himself up to different possibilities after his affair with a vampire but noo)

After Joe leaves, Madame Findley has a talk with Amy about her psychic tendencies but what she doesn't know is that she too is about to fall into a trap of two mischievous kids. David "accidentally" appears out of the panel that opens into the west wing and Madame Findley goes in to find the source of that spiritual energy against the children's "warnings". Once she's in, they close the panel behind her and cover up the evidence and tell Liz that the woman has left. Since Madame Findley didn't see that coming, I guess she isn't a very good psychic afterall. Through the dark corridors and stairs of the west wing, she finds her way into the secret room where Quentin died. She gets locked up in there and has a mental fight with the spirit that is trying to break her.. well..spirit. Quentin plays the same old tricks on her: the music, the rocking crib, the telephone call. She also feels a woman's spirit in the room; probably Beth's.

Meanwhile, Joe is at Chris' small hotel room talking about Maggie and his plans to leave town. Eventually the subject comes to the medium's warning and Chris gets utterly disturbed to hear it. He politely kicks his cousin out and thinks of a way to keep himself from killing him. Just because he has the mark doesn't mean Joe will die, does it? WELL DOES IT? Chris runs to Julia for help and asks if she can give him some seda-waitforit-tives; her favorites! She finds his insistance rather curious at first but agrees to give him a reasonable dose.

Stair falls are very in this season

Things start to go apeshit in Quentin's room. The ceiling lamb begins to swing and the furniture start to move around. Then something offscreen grabs Madame Findley's attention and she screams!! Downstairs, Liz is disturbed by the medium's disappearance and has been looking for her for hours. Then out of nowhere, the woman appears on top of the stairs, standing still in dark (mostly because she's trying to cover up the fact she is a stuntwoman). When Liz calls out to her, she collapses down the stairs and dies. Liz and Julia scream. Or was Julia doing a monkey imitation?

Forever Alone Barnabas!

Later, Roger comes back from the coroner's office and announces the cause of death was a heart attack (if the fall didn't kill her, Julia's scream did). Vicki must have been bored by the lack of attention, so she interrupts the siblings' talk and announces rather dramatically that she will be in her room all day (that's not really news, you know) for she feels Jeff is coming for her because of a dream she had. When all she gets is suspicious looks, she runs off back to her room like the drama queen she is. Roger decides it is best to bring in their best gun: Barnabas! However, he turns out to be the biggest hypocrite when he proposes to Vicki. Really Barnabas, is that your way of helping her you opportunist bastard? In the middle of all the mess she is in, Vicki doesn't forget to be nice and thanks him for the offer but no thanks, she can't love another man because she has just lost her husband (Here is where I usually mention Frank Garner and Burke Devlin but why bother; the girl is a slut). Hurt by the boot on his ass, Barnabas says his farewells to Vicki because she has decided to leave Collinwood.

Honeymoon to the past

Once she is alone, she starts pleading with Jeff to come back again. Occasionally the watch would start to work again and an "astral manifestation" that looks more like a giant twinkie if you ask me appears. Then, Vicki feels a hand touch hers. What do you know; it is Jeff friggin' Clark right in front of her. His love made him come for her again blah blah but this time he has come to say goodbye and asks Vicki to get over him.  He's finally made his peace with his identity as Peter Bradford and says his love for Vicki made him inhabit the body of a man named Jeff Clark but now he has to go back. They hug, kiss and Vicki doesn't look like she's gonna give him up. So she says she will go back to the past with him. It is a big, emotional scene "Please Peter take me, take me!!!". Liz and Barnabas run to her room after hearing her talk to a man; just in time to catch Vicki disappear with Peter into thin air hand in hand. Happy ending?

*

Notes.. Notes.. Notes..

*Vicki has finally reunited with her man. Good for her; she was actually turning into one of those crazy women out of the gothic genre. Anywhere but today is better for her, I suppose. But that Jeff Clark thing doesn't really make sense? If Peter inhabited the body of Jeff, what happened to the original Jeff? How did Dr Lang came into contact with the new Jeff? Too many loose ends and unanswered questions.

*I thought it was pretty funny that Roger finally pointed out the fact that Vicki has been slacking her duties as a governess for some time. About time someone noticed. Roger has also left for London; we won't be seeing him for a while, I guess. Oh how much I don't care.


*David and Amy were obviously possessed by Quentin and Eve but at some point, Amy suggested David be "Jamison". What's going oon?

*Poor Janet Findley! She never had a chance. It was obvious from the start that she'd be a victim of what I call "an outside help's curse". Remember Peter Guthrie and Bathia Mapes?


*I said I was shipping for Chris & Maggie but it's obvious it is Carolyn that has the werewolf's attention. But who knows, Maggie has been known to steal Carolyn's boyfriends before.

*I've started to change some stuff about the blog, namely the background. Doesn't it look fancy. What was I thinking using the flat grey one for a whole year? I may play around with it from time to time.

Burton's Shadows: Pros & Cons

From the old cast to the new: "Why so serious?"

I finally saw Tim Burton's "Dark Shadows" last week, two months after it's original release date and one month after it opened here in Istanbul. Last year around this time, when I first started watching the series I couldn't get enough of the news from the film's production but somewhere along the line I lost interest for a variety of reasons (from the fan backlash after the trailer surfaced and revealed the film would have a comedic tone rather than a serious one -which btw I had no problem with then..or now- to some cast members *coughHelena&Evacough* bitching about the show in interviews). So, I waited until I really felt like seeing the film and I have to admit it was way better than I'd expected. So, instead of doing a regular review (I am already too late and many people have beat me to it anyway) here's what I liked and disliked about the film in a nutshell:

-First of all, I LIKED the fact that the film wasn't a comedy afterall. The humour was spread along the story evenly and not so obviously that reminded me of old Tim Burton films. That being said, I DIDN'T LIKE the humour. The jokes were executed in a poor fashion that end up being neither funny nor black comedy-like.

-I LIKED that they kept the soap aspect of the show. It was apparent in the dramatic way some of the dialogues were delivered without falling into parody.

-I LIKED Bella Heathcote. Period! Ok, not period. She delivers a very believable performance as Maggie/Vicki/Josette with such strength; it is clearly one of the better choices of departing from the original concept. But I feel the character's potential wasn't really used. I also LIKED how they integrated Maggie Evans into the story. Would I have liked to see her as a different character? Sure, but this way she is acknowledged as a big part of DS History.

2 seconds of screentime and
still a thunder stealer!

-Speaking of DS History, I LIKED the way they winked at the original series: Barnabas' almost exact line about Vicki's name, Carolyn's mention of her father disguised under Alice Cooper's "Ballad of Dwight Fry", the whole "Laura" thing -which I would have liked better if she was burned instead drowned, or the mention of Windcliff. And of course the cameos by Jonathan Frid, Kathryn Leigh Scott, Lara Parker and David Selby (whom I yet to meet in the show)!

-I LIKED that we got to see Collinwood thoroughly; a big breathing room after the depthless sets of the series. I don't know how I feel about the useage of sea mythology as gothic decorative items. Probably indifferent.

*I LIKED "Nights in White Satin" and the opening title sequence. It suggested a serious tone that sadly  didn't really follow afterwards.

*Aaaand the actors & their characters. I neither LIKED nor DISLIKED Johnny Depp's Barnabas. I thought he was the most uninteresting of the bunch but then again that's how I feel about Frid's Barnabas as well. 

Surprisingly, I LIKED Helena Bohnam Carter's "Julia" and Jackie Earle Haley's "Willie" the most; surprising because I thought JEH was a rather weird choice for the character (although I really like the actor) and HBC was simply.. well let's just say she didn't leave a good impression during the film's publicity talking shit about Grayson Hall. Well, that didn't stop her from giving a good performance nonetheless. I thought both of their renditions of those characters were the most faithful to the original; they obviously did their homework. 

When the actors were announced, I'd thought Michelle Pfeiffer was an excellent choice for "Liz". While I still LIKED her in the film, I thought she was unbelivable at times. One would argue that the film itself is tongue-in-cheek in tone but one of the best things about the show is that the actors took their jobs very seriously regardless of how silly the story would be. Nevertheless, I give her a gold star for being a devoted fan of the show. 

I can't say I DIDN'T LIKE Chloe Grace Moretz as "Carolyn" but hers was a very different approach to the character. I think she did her best as the troubled teenager but isn't she becoming the poster child for tough talking or odd teen roles, like Dakota Fanning was the girl who could cry? (Though, Grace will always be the girl in Kick-Ass that goes "He has a special signal he shines in the sky. It's in the shape of a giant cock"). The werewolf twist was played well until the moment of revelation. After that, it was just irrelevant to the overall story. 

Eva Green's "Angelique" was less hysterical and more overt. The only thing I LIKED about her was the part when she cracked like an eggshell in the end. The actor who played Roger was alright but his character was the most pointless of them all. No wonder he eventually got the boot: Barnabas' boot of family values! Same goes for David; he was there just for the sake of at least keeping the show's original premise intact. And I DIDN'T LIKE that underuseage. Mrs Johnson was a peach and a half.

*I DISLIKED the montage sequences. Too many of those water up the mood.

-I LIKED the way they twisted Julia's original story around but once again it felt like they did those radical changes to keep it interesting because they didn't know what to do with the vast choice of characters since they didn't fit in the main plot.

*I DIDN'T LIKE Barnabas-Angelique sex scenes. Sorta.

*I DISLIKED that they made up a new character for Christopher Lee when Bill Malloy would have been perfectly suitable as he had been rumoured to play.

At least one Julia got happy

-Finally I was WTF'd by Julia giving Barnabas head. Makes me wonder what Grayson Hall's Julia would have to say about that.

*

All in all, I thought it was a nice adaptation. I had fun watching it although I don't know if it was because of trying to grab all the references and nods to the original. Although I understand the strong, negative fan response it'd be good to look at it that way. Burton didn't ruin the original; it'll always be there. Which I should return to anyway.

See you in the original Collinwood. Ciao!