Monday, April 16, 2012

Collinsport's "Other" Vampire

EPISODE 547-560

We saw Cassandra point a gun at Barnabas at the Old House and were left wondering, not if she'd blow his head off, but how she wouldn't. How was Barnabas not going to die this time and what was gonna be the factor that'd save him..again.

There goes her chance to be
the next Mona Lisa
Well, Cassandra's hand starts to shake before she can fire the pistol and Barnabas quickly disarms her. Then she acts all weird and drama queeny as if dying and puts a hood on her head to hide her face. By now, we all know what it means and right on cue, Angelique's portrait in Vicki's room (remind me why she's keeping it in her room again?) starts to glow and wither, meaning Nicholas' curse has begun. The painting ages not artistically elegant this time without Sam Evans' touch but rather as if the Satan himself pissed on it. Vicki's freaked out by it but does nothing of the sort that is remotely close to throwing it the hell out of the room.

Who's the fairest of them all?
Cassandra leaves Barnabas in a hurry and runs to Collinwood (runs as in grandma steps sorta run) hoping to find the portrait. Not recognizing the raisin that used to be his wife just a little ago, Roger invites her in and has her examined by Julia. Knowing it is the witch, Julia takes aaall the time in the world to attend to the dying old woman. Let's just be grateful that she didn't slap her again. Anyways, Cassandra somehow finds a way to sneak out of the room through the window and into Vicki's room through the secret panel that was last used in the 1795 storyline. Nicholas surprises her by pulling an appearing-out-of-the-dark-corner-of-the-room trick and cuts a cruel deal with her. If she can convince Barnabas to forgive her and everything that she'd done, Nicholas is going to de-age her.

Just when you thought she
couldn't sink any lower.
Off our golden girl goes back to the Old House and begs, really begs, on-her-knees-begs for Barnabas' forgiveness. He almost pities the woman but meh, she sorta killed his whole family so she gets no cookies in return. Angelique dies in the armchair, not quite peacefully but hey that must have been a heck of a 200 years full of great memories. Bear in mind that this is her second death so one would think she ran towards the light this time right? Well, let's just say for now one would be greatly disappointed -coughthetitleofthepostcough-.

New living arrangements
Nicholas is a cunning man, he saw this coming; there was no way Barnabas would forgive Angelique so he prevented the mess beforehand by giving Roger "a goodbye letter" from Cassandra. He also said all his "sister"s bitchiness apart, he liked it here and wanted to settle. This didn't seem weird to Roger but did we really expect it to? He even offered to rent Nicholas the family's house by the ocean (where Burke and Vicki were supposed to live in if it weren't for Burke's untimely and totally forgettable death). Nicholas also removes Cassandra's body from the Old House and keeps it in a coffin at the cellar of his new house. Speaking of this house by the ocean, they must have thought we wouldn't notice after a couple of hundred episodes that this is not the same set they used for the house back then. It is actually the set for Dr Lang's mansion, hardly redecorated. No laziness escapes from the DVD generation.

Truth hurts even if you're a monster;
especially if you're a monster.
Nicholas keeps mucking up Adam's mind, teaching him about the "want. take. have." motto, which Adam tries to use on Carolyn when sweet talk ("friend; food") won't get her to love him that way. Carolyn sees this monster as a friend, which is very sweet of her really, but it isn't enough for Adam. When his abuse borders on physical (though I wasn't sure whether her moanings were of agony or ecstasy), Carolyn calls Prof Stokes to have him removed asap. The two have a little talk and Stokes tells Adam the truth about his creation: that he is a creation. Adam doesn't take it well and gets depressed. He even unsuccessfully attempts to kill himself with a knife. Actually, the fact that a man-made "human" questioning his existence is very interesting. Especially the line "whoever made other people made them beautiful" was very nice. Deviously enough, Nicholas "happens to be" there to guide Adam through his adolescent pains.

The maker; the makee
Adam pays Barnabas a visit at the Old House that night. The ex-vamp is surprised to see the monster he once looked after is now almost a plotting intellectual. Since his earliest memory was Barnabas looking down on him on the operating table, Adam mistakes him for his creator. Regardless of how much Barnabas tries to explain that Dr Lang is the one who originally put him together and Julia was merely responsible for bringing him to life (sadly this must have been the closest Julia will get to be a mother; unless of course a long lost child from an ONS arrives unexpectedly), Adam demands Barnabas to make him a mate. Barnabas rejects; Adam leaves with threats. Even Willie thinks the idea is crazy but then he's always been a softie when it comes to dealing with icky stuff. So much for being the handyman of an ex vampire and a quasi-mad doctor.

Vicki's happiest day..again!
Meanwhile, Jeff and Vicki have a romantic moment at the garden and he proposes to her with the worst line ever (about the ring "It's old fashioned, reminded me of you"). She says yes, they suck face kiss and there is no rememberance whatsoever of Burke's proposal at the same spot couple of months earlier. Well, if they want us to forget about him, so we shall.. NOT!

Been a while since Vicki's been
held captive.
We know how Vicki is annoyingly caring and nice so she feels the need to tell Barnabas the news about the engagement herself (actually deep down she just wants to see the man crushed). Jeff is jealous of this affection but then, so was every other boyfriend of hers. They talk, Vicki has her satisfaction, Barnabas tries to keep it civilized. On her way back to Collinwood walking through the woods, Vicki runs into Adam, who's actually been waiting for her and gets herself captured. That's her signature move. He keeps her in his room at the west wing and tries to explain that this isn't personal, she'll live if she does as told yada yada.

Vicki is declared missing when she doesn't show up after a couple of hours. The police is called, search parties are formed and Jeff gets a chance to have a pissing contest with Barnabas. Suspecting Adam may have something to do with it, Carolyn confronts him but fails to find Vicki tucked in a closet. Nicholas has better luck and gets Adam to spill. Wanting to be a part of the plan, Nicholas has Vicki transfered to his own house.

Tom J. at the wrong place & time
At Nicholas' place, a handy man named Tom Jennings finds Angelique's coffin. Later that night, the man gets attacked by something in the woods. At the same time somewhere else in the woods, Barnabas freaks out by the howling of the dogs and it doesn't escape Jeff's attention. Barnabas returns from the search with a minor memory loss and when Jeff finds Tom Jennings' body in the woods with two puncture marks, Barnabas thinks he's become a vampire again and is responsible. But Julia dramatically suggests the idea of another vampire.

Vampire posing as a witch
And she is right. In a great twist, Nicholas reveals the new vampire to us: Angelique!!!
Nicholas explains to her that she is his "slave" now and even her feeding will be under his supervision. Angelique has hard time understanding this but Nicholas makes sure she does. Their first project is Vicki, who gets visited in the room she's been locked in by Angelique wearing her 18th century clothes. Angelique tells Vicki that she is in a limbo-like place; trapped in time and if she wants to be saved she should give her engagement ring so Angelique can give it to Peter Bradford -not Jeff Clark (Ok did that sentence make any sense? Angelique wants Vicki's ring and lies to get it is the short version I guess). Vicki doesn't trust the witch right away but 30 seconds later she ends up giving the ring to her.

Adam gets the ring from Nicholas and takes it to Barnabas for proof that he has Vicki and will kill her unless Barnabas makes him a sex puppet. Blackmail at it's best! Fearing for Vicki's life, Barnabas tries to convince Julia to do the experiment again.

If looks could kill..
Jeff has a talk with Barnabas and Julia about Adam. Knowing that there's a prowler in town that kidnaps people and survives falls from cliffs, he suspects that he may be Dr. Lang's experiment afterall. Barnabas & Julia lie that the experiment was unsuccessfull and they disposed of the body after Lang died to prevent a scandal but Jeff doesn't really buy it. Since he collected all the body parts for Lang, he says he just needs one good look at Adam to know whether or not it is him and for some reason, I just have a feeling that he doesn't mean to look at his "face" if you know what I mean. Also, didn't Julia erase all memory of the experiment from Jeff's mind?

The duo also exchange information with Prof. Stokes about Adam while still maintaining their own little secrets. They all suspect that someone is putting ideas in Adam's head. Stokes tries to reason with him about Vicki and succeeds but Nicholas doesn't waste time to further poison Adam's mind and discard everything Stokes has tried to build up. It ends with Barnabas and Julia unwillingly agreeing to do the experiment on the condition that Vicki is released. Adam threatens to kill every single member of the Collins family if they don't keep their word. Roger's name on the list of "people who Barnabas and Julia would feel sorry for if they are killed" is strangely missing.

Vicki's back, the ring's not
Nicholas puts a spell on Vicki that erases the whole memory of her kidnapping and sets her free. She arrives at Collinwood as if just returning from her visit to Barnabas. She is shocked to learn the truth but sadly has no recollection of the events. It doesn't escape Jeff that her ring is missing. Geez man, I know you paid for it and all but could you be less inconsiderate? Nah, I'm kidding he's a peach. Not as peachy as this new character Tom Jennings though, who by the way is alive but in critical condition at the hospital. I smell another soon-to-be vampire.

Speaking of hospitals, Joe is out of it just in time to find Nicholas at Maggie's cottage, talking about paintings and such like an old wolf. Maggie is naive about it since she doesn't know about Nicholas' plans for her but Joe suspects something fishy is going on. Nicholas feels that Joe will be an obstacle so he decides to have Angelique prey on him.

Meanwhile since Vicki is free, the preparations for the experiment start at the Old House. Willie doesn't want anything to do with it knowing he will be the one to rob the graves, but Barnabas persuades him by using Willie's feelings for Maggie and what Adam would do to her if he finds out Willie doesn't wanna take part.

Open buffet
Joe receives a note from Nicholas inviting him to his house. He shares this with Barnabas and they both agree that there's something odd about it but he decides to go anyway just out of curiosity. When he gets there, Nicholas' "secretary" Angelique who seems to be bothered by something lets him in. She asks for Joe's help, telling him that Nicholas abuses her and she can't get away. I don't know if this is part of their scheme or Angelique really trying to get out using Joe. Regardless, he makes the mistake of letting Angelique in his arms and she sinks her fangs into his neck.

Oh no!

Notes.. Notes.. Notes..

*Angelique is a vampire and I couldn't have been happier. First of all, the Adam story has started to bore me recenty and this new direction keeps the show fresh. Secondly, it is so good to see Angelique blonde again after the horrid Cassandra persona and without the classical 18th century style. I mean she ain't exactly hip either but she's never looked that good before.

*Vicki's "limbo trick" would have been interesting to watch; making her believe that she is out of time when she was merely locked up in a house somewhere in town sounded cruel yet fun. Too bad it lasted only half an episode. Then again, it would have easily been a bore if they were to drag it out like her previous captivities.

*Why the heck was Prof Stokes suddenly extra sarcastic recently, even to Vicki? Did andropause finally find him between episodes or what?

* Joe the ever honest thanked Barnabas and Willie for saving his life during the Adam ordeal and makes up with Willie. Or he thinks he does. Willie still hates his guts.

*Last but definetly not least, a shoutout to my friend Ay┼če for buying me the book "The Physics of Dark Shadows: Time Travel, ESP, and the Laboratory" as a gift and bringing it from the States. I won't be reading it any time soon cause one peep into it was enough to find out it is filled with spoilers but I am very excited about it, even seeing it in my room makes me happy. I have never been particularly interested in physics (heck, who am I kidding I almost failed those classes during high school every year) but seeing how they are blended with elements from Dark Shadows, I just knew I had to have it. My first impression is that the book is way thinner than I expected but I'm sure it makes up for with the subject matter. I'll make sure to review it once I get to read it after finishing the show.

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