Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Bite Marks Everywhere

EPISODES 561-577

My brother did a bad thing by introducing me to the game Aliens vs Predator. I'm a huge fan of the Alien franchise but I was initially hesitant towards the game. But it is first person shooter I said, I can't compete against the game geeks I said, then shortly afterwards found myself killing the aforementioned aliens and predators hour after hour and with great joy. I'm not that great yet but hey, newbie here! And all of this has absolutely nothing to do with Dark Shadows but I'm telling this because after the speed and the rush of a killing spree, watching a slow going soap opera doesn't immeditally come to your mind. 

So now that the futile excuses for ignoring the show and the blog is out of the way, let's get back to business.

Can I keep him? Can I, can I?
The last time we saw her newly born vampiric presence, Angelique was sinking her fangs into Joe Haskell's not-so-smooth neck . Once the "affair" is over, Nicholas comes back and we find out it was the duo's collective plan afterall and not an attempt to run away on Angelique's part. They let the young man go, only to have him come over once the night sets in again. Joe tries to fight the she-vampire's influence and I hoped that he would since he is stronger than Willie in that department but it was no good. He stops going to work and ignores Maggie, which is totally out of character for him. Barnabas suspects something is odd and he should have seen the signs as he himself caused many people the same thing in the not distant past but for some reason, he just doesn't. Pfft, ex-vampires! 

Joe bumps into Willie one night at the cemetery where the latter happens to rob a grave matter-of-factly (nah, actually he was pretty freaked about it) but knowing it is for Adam's "Project: Wife", Nicholas convinces Joe to warn Barnabas instead of going to the authorities right away. Joe doesn't know anything about the experiment and Barnabas doesn't know that Nicholas knows and is secretly pulling the strings to keep it going. As for me, I carry the burden of knowing it all. It's a curse, a curse I say.

Too bad for Tom, Maggie
doesn't speak gibberish
By the way, in a turn of events we find out that the man who got attacked by Angelique in the woods, Tom Jennings, is actually Joe's cousin. That family must have had really good genes (ask Angelique, she tasted them both). When he regains his consciousness, Nicholas and Angelique freak out, fearing that he may talk. He does actually try to talk but Maggie can't really decipher what he means when he goes "". That night,  Joe is made to leave the window open in Tom's hospital room, letting in Angelique to finish the job she's started.

When Tom dies and Joe orders him to be buried as fast as the speed of light, Barnabas and Julia suspect something's up. They dig up his grave to destroy him in case he got all vamped up but they find the coffin empty. That didn't really make sense cause it was a fresh grave with no signs of crawling-out but it's also possible Tom's body wasn't placed in the coffin in the first place. But long story short, the town has a new vampire and it's a boooy. And this boy, decides to come after Julia of all people.

Look at Julia give herself away
He attacks her one night while she is working on the experiment and reminds us that Julia's scream is a thing of beauty with a twist of a herd of goats in the slaughterhouse. As it happens with every vampire bite victim, Julia tries to hide her marks, stays in during the day and be vibrant once the sun sets. At nights, she meets up with young Jennings in the woods to have her blood sucked, that minx. But Barnabas is quick to solve this one out and with a quick move removes the scarf around Julia's neck to expose her fresh wounds. Speak of sexual tension! She admits the whole deal and Barnabas offers to keep her locked up in Josette's room to keep her away from the vampire. She even gets to sleep in Josette's bed, how flattering is that?

Two girls; one coffin
Meanwhile, sick that she had no air time in the last twenty episodes or so Joan Bennett Liz runs away from the Windcliff Sanitarium and ends up in Collinsport, only to run into Tom Jennings and his fangs in the woods (what's with him and the old women?) but she's saved by an unsuspecting Roger at the last minute. I'd been wondering what the hell happened to Liz's curse of emoness now that Angelique/Cassandra the witch is dead. Well, Barnabas' vampirism went on in the past so why shouldn't this one right; so yeah it's still intact and she's still obsessed with death. Of course having two crazy older women around creates some scenes of  menopausal hilarity. Julia runs away again to find her master's coffin in a crypt; Liz follows her. Julia asks what she's doing there, Liz wonders if the coffin is for her, Julia says get out get out get out (worst get outs I've heard since Dawn); it's just a big riotin' funhouse.

No Grande Finale for Mr Jennings
During the ordeal with Julia's escapes and all, when Barnabas seems only concerned with the experiment's slowness, Willie points out the fact that Barnabas is "acting like a man who's secretery is missing" after which Barnabas finally admits caring for Julia (and he'd die before letting her know; or maybe Julia would die with joy, I'm not sure). So he decides to find Tom's coffin and finish him once and for all. After a silver-bullet shooting attempt and a hand to hand fight, Barnabas finally gets to him during the day like a sneaky bastard. We didn't get to see if Tom's body went poof or became this bloody mess True Blood style but once it was done, Julia's neck wounds disappeared and the influence was lost. 

When Barnabas leaves the crypt, Nicholas hides the coffin, leaving behind a freaked out Liz claiming that she saw her own casket. For the sake of keeping the vampires a secret, Barnabas and Julia lie that there was no coffin which makes Liz look all the more crazier. But they both know that there's someone besides themselves covering up the secret and they're dying to know who. Bring the ANGELIQUE IS ALIVE revelation already!!

Meanwhile, Joe's state creates some friction between him and Maggie, to Nicholas' pleasure. Whenever Joe and Maggie have a big fight, he shows up and we can't really blame Maggie for being attracted to his fatherly attention, especially after her father. Actually, yeah we can! Shame on you Megster, Joe is a neat fella!

Lovers fighting the mental fight
But, Angelique's influence over Joe somehow diminishes and he actually manages to fight the urge to go to her. Of course, Nicholas doesn't miss the opportunity to rub it on her face and no sweet voiced pleading will work: She got herself into this mess and she'll get herself out. So Angelique tries her best to summon the Haskell-man. Joe, in the meantime, begs Maggie to keep him in the house no matter what he does or says. He even gives her the licence to knock him out if the sitch gets out of control but we all know Maggie's too kind for that (which reminds me, wasn't she kind of a tough chick in the first couple of episodes? I guess Barnabas broke her for good). Anyway, instead of tying her fiance to the bed (and I imply nothing kinky here), she gives him a sleeping pill and lets him sleep on the couch. But Angelique finds her way into his head  and gains her influence again. Joe sneaks out just in time for Nicholas to check "if everything's ok". You know, I kinda like Nicholas but he'd better not mess with Maggie any longer!

Barnabas sneaks into Nicholas' house to find any clue that will prove his suspicions about him, but instead he runs into Joe. They both have an awkward time explaining to each other what the hell they are doing there. Angelique, while listening to the current of lies, tries hard to stop herself from making her grand enterance and attack Barnabas. Her fear of Nicholas holds her back.

Nicholas' chroma key magic mirror
Remember how Cassandra and Nicholas had Doctor Lang's tape but couldn't make much sense of it? Well, Nicholas thinks of a way to gather more information and uses his magic mirror to question Willie in his sleep. Poor, weak-willed Willie recites everything he knows about the previous experiment, including Barnabas & Adam's life force bond. This is the information he needs: If he can control the person that will give her life force to this female creature, he can control the creature itself. His main intention is to create an army of living-dead and rule the world. But this new bit of information gives Angelique an idea.

Jeff doesn't like Barnabas'
science project
As this is happening, Jeff sneaks into the Old House (my, what's with the sneak in and out overdose recently) to find out if Adam is connected to Barnabas as he's been suspecting. And to his horror, he finds the new experiment lying on the operating table down at the cellar. Then Barnabas appears out of the dark shadows and charismatically announces "Yes Mr Clark, we're going to create another one." Jeff flips, then Barnabas admits how Adam is threatening to kill Vicki and everyone else and eventually Jeff finds himself working on the experiment, just like he did with Adam.

It's funny to see Adam visit the makeshift lab every now and then and ask how the experiment is coming along like a manager. It's also funny to see Barnabas & co tremble when they try to negotiate with him. Only Jeff was ballsy enough to call out Adam to tell how ugly he is, which almost cost him his life if it weren't for Prof. Stokes.

Angelique's boy toy #2
One night when Jeff is working on the "body" (now everybody is an MD), he gets visited and bitten by Angelique. Now that he is her slave, she asks him to hurry up the experiment and let her give the life force that's required to animate the corpse, so she can be free of the curse just like Barnabas. Jeff can't resist her and says he'll help. And now that he's Angelique's bitch, Vicki and Roger observe the change in him. Especially when he refuses Roger's job offer. Still, aww @ Roger for being a sweetheart to Vicki and her fiance.

Bad day for a lawyer
As warlocks and vampires and man-made creatures roam the town, Liz has to deal with her own demons in the shape of morbid thoughts. When she has a nightmare of being in a coffin, she has the frightening notion that she'll be buried alive. When her lawyer (hello Mr Garner) doesn't return her calls on the account that she's a crazy woman, she sacks him (bye bye Mr Garner) and hires the local lawyer Tony Peterson. She adds some weird stuff to her will, such as being buried a high-tech coffin that I am not sure was in existence then. Or now. On his way out, Tony runs into Carolyn and they have a talk about their brief but tempestuous history. Adam witnesses the whole talk and when Carolyn leaves, attacks the man; knocking him out cold!

Is he dead? Will Liz's will go unnoticed? Will Carolyn cry?...

Notes.. Notes.. Notes..

*Hurray for the sassy black nurse not letting Nicholas in!

*Adam's sarcasm cracks me up. One day you're a bundle of meat sewed together, the next day you're outwitting the girl you love with clever remarks and talks of Freud. Seriously, how weird is that Carolyn learns about Freud from Adam.

*Tom Jennings, the brief vampire had a habit of doing funny faces (crooked eyes, weird mouth movements etc.) during his attack scenes. I think he got lesson about not taking his role seriously when he got killed off.

*Joe, because he's too manly for scarfs, uses a turtleneck sweater to hide his bite marks.

*Is it my imagination or has it recently been mentioned that Windcliff is Julia's hospital and not just a hospital she works in? So, she's basically rich and still stays at Collinwood?

*I remember reading and watching Lara Parker's interviews and she talks of Angelique being this sensual character. Up until now, I've thought that was her wishful thinking cause both Angelique the witch and Cassandra had been rather cold, mean and frigid characters. But now I understand why: This Angelique, as a vampire, uses her sexuality to lure men into her trap whether it's the using of her voice or the way she dresses. Needless to say, I like this Angelique the best so far. But I've spotted one big mistake: She has a reflection!!! And it's not just a tiny goof that they missed, they positioned her right in a mirror! Tsk tsk~

*On a very irrelevant note, I just LOVED the fierce Pumyra from the new Thundercats series!!!

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