EPISODES 666 (oooh)-677
This morning I woke up from a dream where I was running in the woods to stop Angelique from leading a line of childrens' spirits deeper into the woods for some evil intentions, after a warning I had from Josette's ghost, so I said it's time to go back to the blog 'cause it's apparently calling out to me in my dreams now.
|Death of a Countess|
Natalie the Vampire Slayer and her sidekick Nathan are stopped by Barnabas' loyal servant, Ben, right on time before they could kill the vampire (Although I remember perfectly well that the previous episode ended with the ominous sight and sound of the hammer coming down on the stake; that is one big retcon, if you ask me). Nathan shoots Ben, but the man is built like Jason Voorhees. Not only he is unaffected by the shooting, but he also goes on and kills both Nathan and Natalie with his bare hands, although to be honest the latter was more like an accident. Who knew people tended to die when you cover their mouths to keep them quiet for so long? All in all, the history has been changed but no worries, these "accidental" deaths had no effect in the present, which we cut to right away:
Julia and Willie are restlessly waiting in the Old House for Barnabas' return from the past (Very casually as if he's just gone out to buy some groceries). Sick of waiting around, they visit the cemetery and notice that the graves of Peter and Vicki have vanished. Julia takes it as a positive sign that Barnabas is changing history, just the way he intended. Still very casual. But then again, dealing with vampires, witches, warlocks, Frankenstein monsters and other otherworldly beings eventually makes one rather indifferent to the et cetera. Anyways, Julia cries out into the night for Barnabas to return, but his coffin is still empty.
Back in 1796 for what I hope will be the final time for God's sake, Ben fills Barnabas in on the itsy bitsy murders of Nathan and Natalie. The vampire tells him to get rid off the bodies; then, make up a lame story to tell his father Joshua about their whereabouts. As his final order, he tells Ben to chain him in his coffin for his time travel ticket has almost expired. Too bad for him, he reappears in the present time right after Willie checks his coffin and leaves the mausoleum. Barnabas is stuck in his coffin, gasping for air and letting us have a great view up his nostrils.
|Waiting on the other side|
|Peer pressure &|
Maggie lies a little
Once back at Collinwood, Amy is bullied by David into "playing the game", and Carolyn catches, scowls and grounds him (in that order) despite both his and Amy's protests that it was a misunderstanding. It is unsettling how Amy repeatedly covers for David's ancestrally-possessed-ass. Seeing how Carolyn is a likely obstacle in their evil evil plans, David says they will have to "play the game with her", and by now we know they don't mean they are gonna invite her for a make believe tea party. First, they play cute and win over Maggie's trust that night when she catches them together in David's room. Maggie, trying so hard to fill the void of governess-ing Vicki left when she started a brand new life in 1796, opts to trust and cover for them against Mrs. Johnson's prying, who has nothing whatsoever to prove, so she sticks to being her (neurotic) strict self.
Later, when they make sure that everyone's asleep, they sneak into the west wing through the hidden panel in the drawing room, wearing the same 1800's clothes. *cue Quentin's theme* Amy, now calling herself Beth, claims they are in her room and the two once again recite the almost-100-year-old dialogue between Quentin & Beth. Amy as Beth curiously says she is afraid of "them. I'm afraid of both of them." They mention a man and a woman who hates Quentin, and Amy mentions the woman having powers/curse. Uh-oh. What did happen there in 1897? But before we can learn more, the possession is interrupted by Mrs Johnson, who has followed the children's voices through the west wing (but what she was doing there in the first place, I do not know. Maybe she has a secret room there where she goes to chill and get shitfaced once in a while, after a day of heavy work; and that would be well deserved, that woman looks after a whole mansion by herself).
She is shocked to find children in such demode attire, hangin' out like two creeps in candle light. Sliding back to their child-selves, the kids shamelessly make fun of Mrs Johnson's age by pointing out she must have forgotten how cool the game of dress-up is. Well, sorta. Mrs. Johnson, not having been born yesterday (as pointed out by the kids), does not buy this story, shoos them away and is certain there is something up with those creeps-for-kids and that scares her. Unfortunately when she shares this with Maggie, the only thing she gets is a hinted "you must be crazy" and a "maybe you should retire". Okay maybe not in so many words, but there was definitely a mocking quality to Maggie's tone. Boy, is that girl trying too hard to be the governess of the year.
|Wouldn't be a soap without a|
Meanwhile during that whole ordeal, Carolyn and Chris Jennings have been making moon eyes at each other under the moonlit terrace and flirting in a very delicious soap-operatic manner where Carolyn is the love-struck young girl and Chris is more the "I am scared of my feelings because I may hurt you" type. Well, being a werewolf and all, this time it is a bit justified. And Carolyn, after her mother's not-so-death death, has become very mature in every way and automatically inherited her mother's generosity. She offers Chris the cottage that was previously used by Matthew the psychotic handyman and Laura the the psychotic phoenix. Well, after a brief consideration, the cottage is now inhabited by a psychotic werewolf. But, before that--
-- Mrs Johnson, who has been assigned to clean up the place to much dismay because she thinks the cottage is evil and should be burnt down for what went down with Matthew Morgan (and for some reason, she forgets to mention Laura; which makes me wonder if she had some sort of secret affair with Matthew back then to harbor such bitterness), recruits her annoying son Harry (different actor; same annoyance, and thankfully final appearance before he drifts into limbo) to set up the place for Chris. Timing is perfect for David and Amy to give poor Mrs. Johnson a lesson for meddling with their sicko game the night before. First, David tells Maggie how jumpy Mrs Johnson has become recently and implies she is going slightly coo-coo, to prepare her for the coming storm.
|Mrs J is harrased by a ghost|
with a serious case of sideburns
Then, when Harry leaves his mother alone in the cottage (after some amazing mother-son bickering that makes me almost sorry for Harry's disappearance), the kids lock her in and Quentin makes his silent but deadly appearance as he out stares Mrs Johnson into delirium. Maggie and the kids hear her screams and run for help, but the boogeyman is nowhere to be seen when they arrive. Once again, Mrs Johnson's craziness is implied but regardless she warns Maggie the kids and their "game" are somehow involved in this. Wow, give the woman some credit. She solved the case in like two episodes.
|Carolyn's beauty tip: Maybelline|
with a tint of Pentagram
|Matriarchy returns to Collinwood|
So, there is a "wild animal" on the loose, going around attacking people and understandably folks are scared. Barnabas, being the brave gentleman of the house he is, grabs his rifle-gun and his cane (he is smart; me like Barnabas) and goes werewolf hunting; and not surprisingly runs into the creature right away. First, he shoots him, but as we already know by now the bullets have no effects on the werewolf! Understandably mad and vengeful, the werewolf attacks
the camera Barnabas, only to meet his silver tipped wolf headed double dong cane. It retreats like a puppy (with some nice action stunt sequences up and down styrofoam rocks) and Chris wakes up somewhere in the woods next morning, blood on his shirt.
|Donna's dead body had more|
screen time than her alive one
|"Try not to shed so much next time|
you turn into a werewolf, son"
Carolyn identifies the body at the morgue (or more likely in a random room in sheriff's station); she says Donna was a friend through a mutual so she won't be grieving much; oh and Sheriff Patterson and his office are back. What a lovely throwback. However, the Sheriff now knows Chris was the last person Donna was in contact with, so decides to call him in for an interrogation and locks him up (to give him time to make a believable story, which I think is illegal). Meanwhile, feeling gloomy and relating Chris' situation to his own vampiric times, Barnabas believes the man is not guilty of his actions, so he and Julia locate the evidence (a bloody shirt and Donna's purse, which, hilariously Grayson Hall tries very hard not to see before her cue) and get rid of them. Barnabas, then, calls the Sheriff and vouches for Chris' whereabouts on the night of the murder, just before Chris is about to confess being the murderer. Seeing how his ass is saved the last minute with lies about heavy drinking and such, he chooses to keep quiet.
|Chris opens up|
Meanwhile, Barnabas and Julia are not the only ones covering up Chris'
ass mess. Something about their diabolical plans must have disturbed the ghastly relationship between Beth and Quentin, that the former appears to Amy in the woods and warns her (by wailing and pointing, as we know by now ghosts aren't good at just coming out and saying whatever the hell is on their mind) about Chris. Not only that, but she also possesses the girl to get rid off other evidence that would give away Chris' identity as a wolf-individual (I think this is more politically correct to call them nowadays). Quentin and through him David, doesn't like the fact that Amy is pooping over their plans, so they decide to kick her out of the whatever freaky club from hell they had, and keep her out of their plans. Amy, being the cutesy loyal friend, is sad but doesn't give away David's secret. The kids continue to mentally torture Mrs Johnson by simply staring at her while she is dusting, which was overall an amazing scene (I am the president of Mrs Johnson Fan Club). Desperate, she tells Barnabas about the whole costume fetish thingie the kids have going on and how she is sure it is related to the scary man she saw in the cottage. Barnabas doesn't act like she is crazy (at least to her face; here, learn some manners Maggie), actually he takes it seriously.
|Quentin is a bully &|
Beth mourns over Chris
So, it appears that I am back after four years of absence. Just in time for the series' 50th anniversary! Totally a coincidence by the way. I always felt bad for stopping watching the show rather abruptly but knew in my gut that I would eventually go back to it. And now that I have, I also decided to revisit the blog because Dark Shadows meant Dark Shadowed to me. Where was the fun in watching the series if I wasn't gonna bitch about the things Angelique would do or laugh over something Julia does or Mrs Johnson says.
Actually this post was started in 2012 (including my dream of Angelique and Josette, which I still remember), then briefly continued in 2013 but mostly written recently. It was very hard for five minutes before I slipped back to that "voice" and the rest came very easily. But I also think four years is a long time, people change and I will eventually find my new "voice".
To conclude, I am not sure where blogging or even blogspot stands now in this day and age of follower obsessed fast social media interactions. It is nice to see some Dark Shadows sites (especially the wonderful The Collinsport Historical Society ) is still up and running, and doing amazing things. I know I am not ambitious here, I will write as I keep watching at my own pace but if you ever happen to drop by here, maybe some old fellow fans that we used to interact or new, feel free to say hi!
I have found going back to Collinwood a strangely familiar experience.